Born, raised, and lived in Los Angeles my entire life (June 1st, 1970----I had to be a Gemini to be this crazy, right?), I started writing adult humor parody lyrics in the summer of 1999, after spontaneously singing something one day while driving with my good friend and former band mate in our eventual adult humor parody music group, Smashing Rumpkin. He cracked up at whatever parody I was singing (I can't even remember it now!) and said that he also likes doing that. He was also an aspiring regular song writer at the time, as well as a great musician and singer, so, the next thing I knew, I'd have a new original parody on my voice mail every week from him, it seemed. I had to follow suit, and the next thing you knew, we had each come up with several great songs (many of which are on the site right now) on our own. Then, one magical day, we collaborated on our first song, "Douching With Listerine" (based on Sarah McLaughlin's "Building the Mystery"---I still don't have this song written out beyond a verse and chorus, so it's not on the whatfreaks site, but you can hear it on my CD; my apologies!), and, eventually, we had about 20 songs written, so we decided to form our Smashing Rumpkin group. Our first gig was a 30 minute TV appearance on a Public Access Network show, and we really had a tight performance, so our next goal was to have a LIVE show in front of an audience. A few months later, in late 2001, our dream became a reality. It was, at the time, the best day of my adult life. The audience LOVED it, and we even got the entire room of about 60 people to sing along with our "Cum With My Dildo" ("Come To My Window"). After another live show at the same LA cabaret theatre/restaurant and another appearance on the same Public Access Network show (which was even better than the previous one), we had our biggest moment (and still the FUNNEST day of my adult life) as a featured act for a big LA radio station's annual variety show, 95.5 KLOS' "Viva Libido 2002" in front of about 1500 people, many of whom were waving lighters during our slowed down version of "Cock in Your Wife" ("Time of Your Life/Good Riddance"). We didn't even have a website or CD at this time, but, after hearing from the radio station about a week later that several listeners called up asking if we did, that became our next step (please check it out at Unfortunately, our next live show at a local sports bar didn't go so well thanks to a poor turn out and drama from my partner's ex-fiance making a drunken fool out of herself, so he gave up.

Smashing Rumpking may have died (though I continued to sell some CDs and still have the website afloat, as earlier mentioned), but my love of adult humor parody music DIDN'T!! I have since written many, many new songs and finished several of the ones my buddy and I had only partially written. I go karoke singing almost every week and often, depending on how liberal the venue is, still sing them, usually to an unsuspecting audience. I have found that my karaoke audiences can generally be divided into 3 categories: those who arn't paying attention and have NO idea that I'm changing the words, those who are mortally offended by my new words (mainly good looking women, unfortunately---I guess they don't want to hear me singing "I Totally Shit When I Fart" or "My Piss is on Fire" or even "Because Your Clit is on My Lips"), and those who think it's the funniest shit they have ever heard and who can't believe I'm not doing this in Vegas as a lounge act! In my "real" life, I work as a physical therapist, mainly doing geriatric rehabilitation at a nursing home, and I'm also a fine artist (though I haven't done much drawing lately in favor of my NEW love of writing these goofy songs).

So keep up your votes and comments (even if they're bad---honesty IS the best policy, and I can always just tell you to go F yourself---lol). And please visit my other website to hear my CD. I'd love to send you a copy! Oh, I forgot to mention that I also have 2 other songs on youtube right now, "Hung Just Like a Mule" ("Hungry Like the Wolf") and "Nipple Hair" ("I'll Be There"----I actually wrote this about 3 weeks before Michael Jackson passed away---great timing, huh? I'm sure he's looking down and laughing as I know how much he loved Weird Al's work). There must be a reason why I'm on this site, as I ACCIDENTALLY found it years ago while google searching my name for the first time. I had NO idea it existed, but I saw something on Google about a parody song with MY name in the lyrics! ("I Shot the Parrot, but I Didn't Kill Miss Blakely"). Why the author of that parody used my full name in his song is beyond me, but thank God he did, as it led me to the other site (, which got me on the path to

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ParodyOriginal Song TitleOriginal PerformerPacingFunnyOverallVotesCommentsSubmitted
"All Fours""I'm Your's"Jason Mraz5.005.005.00602009-08-25
"All the Days You Fart""Just the Way You Are"Bruno Mars5.005.005.00502011-04-09
"An Anal Man""Piano Man"Billy Joel4.604.604.601032010-04-09
"Another Dick With Some Balls""Another Brick in the Wall"Pink Floyd4.754.504.50812010-02-06
"Are They Fake Tits?""If This is It"Huey Lewis and the News4.625.004.88812009-11-24
"Arma Armenians""Karma Chameleon"Culture Club5.005.005.00512009-02-02
"Back Hair""Back Here"BBMak5.005.005.00502009-03-04
"Bad Lay""Bad Day"Daniel Powter5.005.005.00502009-09-19
"Beaver""Fever"Peggy Lee4.734.734.731132010-01-20
"Bed Wetting""White Wedding"Billy Idol5.005.005.00302010-08-14
"Bent""Bent"Matchbox 204.294.574.43712009-02-02
"A Birth Control Pill""A View to a Kill"Duran Duran5.005.005.00402010-05-23
"Blow Me Now""Hold Me Now"Thompson Twins5.005.005.00312011-08-28
"Boning In The Sheep""Rolling In The Deep"Adele5.005.005.00312011-07-02
"Butter Face""Poker Face"Lady Ga Ga5.005.005.00622009-05-06
"A Camel Toe""Alejandro"Lady Ga Ga5.005.005.00302010-09-05
"Can You Tell That He's Gay?""Meet Me Half Way"Black Eyed Peas5.005.005.00402010-04-09
"Careless Discharge""Careless Whisper"Wham! (featuring George Michael)
"Chlamydia""Gloria"Laura Branigan5.005.005.00502011-01-08
"Clit On My Lips""Kiss On My List"Hall and Oates5.005.005.00722009-02-02
"Cock in Your Wife""Time of Your Life (Good Riddance)"Green Day4.784.784.67922009-02-02
"Creams""Dreams"Fleetwood Mac5.005.005.00202013-01-30
"Creamy Little Thing Called Cum""Crazy Little Thing Called Love"Queen4.204.204.20502009-09-07
"Crotch On Fire""Girl On Fire"Alicia Keys5.005.005.00202013-06-01
"Cum On Your Face""Can't Feel My Face"The Weeknd5.005.005.00202015-11-13
"Cum With My Dildo""Come To My Window"Melissa Etheridge4.834.834.83612009-02-02
"Cunnilingus ""Jealous"Nick Jonas5.005.005.00202015-11-13
"Did it in a 69""Summer of 69"Brian Adams5.005.005.00102011-04-17
"Don't Know Why (You Didn't Cum)""Don't Know Why"Norah Jones5.005.005.00202011-03-19
"During Falacio""On the Radio"Donna Summer5.005.005.00522009-07-26
"Every Time You Blow Away ""Every Time You Go Away"Paul Young5.005.005.00212013-01-30
"Every Time You Fake""Every Breath You Take"The Police5.005.005.00402009-04-22
"(Face Hair That) She's Plucking""Get Lucky"Daft Punk5.005.005.00202015-11-13
"Felt Fire When I Drained""Set Fire to the Rain"Adele002012-08-08
"Felt Fire When I Drained""Set Fire to the Rain"Adele5.005.005.00202012-10-03
"Filling Her Deeply""Killing Me Softly"The Fugees5.005.005.00202011-02-26
"Fist Me""Kiss Me"Sixpence None the Richer4.334.334.33612009-02-02
"Flaccid Now""Need You Now"Lady Antebellum4.675.005.00302010-07-02
"(Gay Now, Gay Now) You Dream of Boners""Don't Dream It's Over"Crowded House002012-08-08
"(Gay Now, Gay Now) You Dream of Boners""Don't Dream It's Over"Crowded House5.005.005.00302012-10-03
"Gay""Name"Goo Goo Dolls5.005.005.00202010-06-05
"The Girl is Bi""The Girl is Mine"Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney4.754.754.75402011-10-08
"Give It Up For Free""You Belong With Me"Taylor Swift5.004.604.80512009-12-06
"Glazed (as in "Baby, I've Been Glazed By You")""Amazed"Lonestar5.005.005.00402009-04-22
"The Greatest Dump of All""The Greatest Love of All"Whitney Houston5.005.005.00302011-11-19
"Hand Job Me""Stand By Me"Ben E. King5.005.005.00312011-07-31
"Hand Jobs Make Me Spew a Bit""What's Love Got To Do With It?"Tina Turner5.004.675.00312010-06-12
"Handslide""Landslide"Fleetwood Mac5.005.005.00522013-04-27
"Hangin Even Lower (Than A Pooch) ""Hanging By A Moment"Lifehouse5.005.005.00402009-04-22
"Haven't Made You Wet""Haven't Met You Yet"Michael Buble002012-08-04
"Haven't Made You Wet""Haven't Met You Yet"Michael Buble5.005.005.00202012-10-03
"Herpes Blisters""Hey Soul Sister"Train5.005.005.00512010-05-23
"Hershey Highway""I Want it That Way"Backstreet Boys4.334.674.50602009-02-02
"Hey There Vagina""Hey There Delilah"Plain White T's4.434.434.43702009-05-19
"(Hope It) Will Not Smell""Gives You Hell"All-American Rejects5.005.005.00202011-03-26
"Horny Day""Holiday"Madonna5.005.005.00302010-08-14
"(How Do I Get You) To Bone""Alone"Heart4.204.804.60522009-11-24
"How They Are Biting (All Those Crabs That I Have)""How You Remind Me"Nickelback5.005.005.00402009-05-19
"Hung Just Like a Mule""Hungry Like the Wolf"Duran Duran4.444.784.78932009-03-04
"I Can Tell You're Bi""I Can't Tell You Why"The Eagles5.005.005.00202011-05-14
"I Fisted A Girl""I Kissed A Girl"Katy Perry5.005.005.00622009-03-04
"I Gotta Go Pee""It's Gonna Be Me"NSYNC5.005.005.00412009-05-19
"(I Got the AIDS Down in) Africa""Africa"Toto5.005.005.00212013-01-30
"I Just Made a Cum Stain""You Give Love a Bad Name"Bon Jovi4.674.675.00302011-07-02
"I Make You Cum""Titanium"David Guetta5.005.005.00202013-04-27
"I'm a Wet Dreamer""I'm a Believer"Smash Mouth002012-08-08
"I'm a Wet Dreamer""I'm a Believer"The Monkees5.005.005.00222012-10-03
"(I Think You Are) Gay""Stay"Rihanna5.005.005.00202013-04-27
"I Totally Shit When I Fart""Total Eclipse of the Heart"Bonnie Tyler4.854.854.771372009-07-01
"It's My Wife""It's My Life"Bon Jovi5.005.005.00502009-02-02
"It Wasn't Me""It Wasn't Me"Shaggy and Rayvon5.005.005.00502009-03-22
"(I've Had) Good Times With Your Wife""(I've Had) the Time of My Life"Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes5.005.005.00212011-02-06
"Jack it Off""Shake It Off"Taylor Swift5.005.005.00102014-12-28
"Jenny's Getting Wet""Bennie and the Jets"Elton John5.005.005.00102010-09-12
"Last Christmas""Last Christmas"Wham!
"Lester's Gay""Yesterday"The Beatles1.951.951.952122010-08-14
"Let Her Blow""Let It Go"Idina Menzel5.005.005.00212014-05-20
"Lick Your Behind""Time After Time"Cyndi Lauper5.005.005.00202010-07-17
"Little Weenie""Little Jeannie"Elton John5.005.005.00512009-06-21
"Masturbated""Complicated"Avril Lavigne4.004.004.00402009-09-19
"Masturbate""Wide Awake"Katy Perry5.005.005.00222013-06-01
"Masturbating For A Girl Like You""I've Been Waiting For A Girl Like You"Foreigner5.005.005.00202009-11-24
"Masturbation""Celebration"Kool and the Gang5.005.005.00322010-05-23
"Masturbator""Human Nature"Michael Jackson5.005.005.00202010-07-02
"Measure B""Let it Be"The Beatles5.005.005.00322012-12-02
"Menage A Trois""Panama"Van Halen5.005.005.00412009-03-04
"Menage A Trois""Panama"Van Halen5.005.005.00312009-03-04
"Mr. Backside""Mr. Brightside"The Killers5.005.005.00212011-11-19
"My Cock Will Grow On""My Heart Will Go On"Celine Dion5.005.005.00302010-04-09
"My Dad's a Drag Queen""Caribbean Queen"Billy Ocean5.005.005.00102011-03-19
"(My Girlfriend Was) A Guy""Collide"Howie Day5.005.005.00302009-03-22
"My Piss is on Fire""Your Sex is on Fire"Kings of Leon5.005.005.00412009-08-25
"Never Gonna Get it Up""Never Gonna Give You Up"Rick Astley5.005.005.00202011-02-06
"New Cum Stains""New Year's Day"U25.005.005.00102012-01-14
"Nice Behind""Borderline"Madonna5.005.005.00212010-12-05
"Nipple Hair""I'll Be There"The Jackson
"Obama's a Tragedy""Bohemian Rhapsody"Queen3.804.204.20502012-09-01
"One Cheek""One Week"Bare Naked Ladies5.005.004.80512009-04-22
"The One Who Turned Out Gay""The One That Got Away"Katy Perry5.005.005.00112012-01-14
"(Online) Pictures""Picture"Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow5.005.005.00102011-11-19
"The Only One That Makes My Butt Explode""Boulevard of Broken Dreams"Green Day5.005.005.00402009-03-04
"On My Vein""It Will Rain"Bruno Mars5.005.005.00102012-07-23
"Please Stop Your Queefing""Don't Stop Believing"Journey3.804.004.00512010-06-12
"Porn in the USA""Born in the USA"Bruce Springsteen002012-08-08
"Porn in the USA""Born in the USA"Bruce Springsteen5.005.005.00212012-10-03
"Porn Star""All Star"Smash Mouth5.005.005.00402009-04-22
"Pubic Hair""Billionaire"Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars5.005.005.00202010-09-26
"Pull Down Your Pants""Shut Up and Dance"Walk the Moon5.005.005.00202015-11-13
"Purple Vein""Purple Rain"Prince5.005.005.00302011-06-12
"Shave it Daily""Call Me Maybe"Carly Rae Jepsen002012-08-04
"Shave it Daily""Call Me, Maybe"Carly Rae Jepsen5.005.005.00302012-10-03
"She Passes Wind""She's Like the Wind"Patrick Swayze4.204.204.20512009-09-19
"She Squirts The Most""What Hurts The Most"Rascal Flatts5.005.005.00202012-07-23
"Shoot a Big Load""Holiday Road"Lindsey Buckingham5.005.005.00322015-11-13
"So Gay""Someday"Sugar Ray5.005.005.00402009-05-25
"Soiled Underwear""Livin' On a Prayer"Bon Jovi5.005.005.00412011-07-10
"Somebody That You Used to Blow""Somebody That I Used to Know"Gotye002012-08-08
"Somebody That You Used to Blow""Somebody That I Used to Know"Gotye5.004.755.00412012-10-03
"Someway To Spew""Someone Like You"Adele5.005.005.00302012-01-14
"Spew""True"Spandau Ballet5.005.005.00202012-01-14
"Squirt's So Good""Hurt's So Good"John Cougar Mellencamp4.805.004.80512009-02-02
"Stroke 'Till I Cum""Soak Up the Sun"Sheryl Crow3.503.503.50802009-05-06
"Sucking My Schlong""Silly Love Songs"Paul McCartney and Wings4.004.004.00402009-11-24
"Suckin' My Big Fat Boner""Livin' La Vida Loca"Ricky Martin3.503.503.50802009-05-06
"Sweet Jizz of Mine""Sweet Caroline"Neil Diamond5.005.005.00302011-04-02
"Tampon, Bloody Tampon""Sunday, Bloody Sunday"U25.005.005.00402011-06-12
"Teenage Cream""Teenage Dream"Katy Perry4.755.005.00412010-09-26
"That Girl's a Dyke (Carpet Muncher)""Last Friday Night (TGIF)"Katy Perry5.005.005.00312011-10-08
"(They) Sound All the Same""Eternal Flame"The Bangles5.005.005.00312011-02-26
"This Dick Was Made For Sucking""These Boots Were Made For Walking"Nancy Sinatra (and, of course, Jessica Simpson)4.675.004.83602011-04-24
"Tiny Pecker""Tiny Dancer"Elton John5.005.005.00612010-05-29
"Titties on Men""Pretty Woman"Van Halen (and Roy Orbison, of course)
"Underneath My Balls""Underneath It All"No Doubt3.913.913.911102009-05-25
"Walk With an Erection""Walk Like an Egyptian"The Bangles5.005.005.00502011-07-02
"Wanted Head While I Drive""Wanted Dead or Alive"Bon Jovi4.754.504.50402010-06-20
"Wet Dreams (are Made of Jis)""Sweet Dreams (are Made of These)"Eurhythmics5.005.005.00402010-05-23
"We've Got STDs""We Are Family"Sister Sledge5.005.005.00402011-07-02
"Where Can I Pee Now?""Who Can It Be Now?"Men At Work5.005.005.00402011-04-24
"With A Boner""When It's Over"Sugar Ray4.254.504.50802009-05-19
"With This Boner""At This Moment"Billy Vera5.005.005.00202011-11-27
"(Your Vagina's) Dry""Fly"Sugar Ray5.005.005.00702009-05-25