Song Parodies -> I Totally Shit When I Fart
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" Based on the performance by Bonnie Tyler
"I Totally Shit When I Fart" Parody by Lon
Check out my website at smashingrumpkin.com for CD info
I Totally Shit When I Fart



(Blows around) every now and then I get a little bit gassy and the scent it blows around
(Blows around) every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sounds of my ass
(Blows around) every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the gas I had might not have been dry
(Blows around) every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I feel the poop on my thighs
(Poop is on my thighs) every now and then I have to shart
(Poop is on my thighs) every now and then I have to shart

(Blows around) every now and then I get a little bit careless and my gas will exit out
(Blows around) every now and then I get a little food poison and my gas is soaking wet from the runs
(Blows around) every now and then I get a little bit angry 'cause my underwear is no longer dry
(Blows around) every now and then I get a little bit terrified 'cause then I feel the poop on my thighs
(Poop is on my thighs) every now and then I have to shart
(Poop is on my thighs) every now and then I have to shart

And I stained my shorts tonight, and I stained them more than ever
And if I squeeze my butt cheeks tight, I can stop the flow much better
And it's making you wish you could die
'Cause my scent, it lives on
I know you can ignore it if you plug your nose tight
My gas is never ending, lasting all through the night (all through the night)
I don't know what to do, and I always have to fart
From eating lots of boiled eggs and artichoke hearts
I'm really gassy tonight, my farts will never stop tonight
My farts will never stop tonight

Once upon a time, there was gas in my ass, but now my underwear has a mark
There's nothing I can do, I totally shit when I fart
Once upon a time they were clean and so white, but now my underwear is so dark
Nothing I can say, I totally shit when I fart

(Poop is on my thighs)
(Poop is on my thighs)

(Blows around) every now and then I know I'll never have the BM's that I wanted to have
(Blows around) and every now and then I know I'll always be the only one who has to have the diarrhea
(Blows around) every now and then I know my bowels are so painful, bacteria just keeps going through
(Blows around) every now and then I know there's no way I can stop it, there's nothing I can do for loose stool
(Poop is on my thighs) every now and then I have to shart
(Poop is on my thighs) every now and then I have to shart

And I stained my shorts tonight (and I stained them), and I stained them more than ever
And if I squeeze my butt cheeks tight (if I'm lucky), I can stop the flow much better
And it's making you wish you could die
'Cause my scent, it lives on
I know you can ignore it if you plug your nose tight
My gas is never ending, lasting all through the night (all through the night)
I don't know what to do, I always have to fart
From eating lots of boiled eggs and artichoke hearts
I'm really gassy tonight, my farts will never stop tonight
My farts will never stop tonight

Once upon a time there was gas in my ass, but now my underwear has a mark
Nothing I can do, I totally shit when I fart
Once upon a time they were clean and so white, but now my underwear is so dark
Nothing I can say, I totally shit when I fart
I totally shit when I fart
I totally shit when I fart

Poop is on my thighs
Poop is on my thighs, on my thighs
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Voting Results
Pacing: 4.9
 
How Funny: 4.9
 
Overall Rating: 4.8
 

Total Votes: 15
Voting Breakdown

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User Comments Follow...

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Pinner - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done as usual Lon
Burnley Sad Acts - August 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Amateur Transplants Did The Anaethetists Hymn But that dwindles in comparison to this amazing parody. Your Quite the expert.
Rudee - March 12, 2010 - Report this comment
This song used to really annoy me. Your version is MUCH better! Funny as hell!
Jacek - April 25, 2010 - Report this comment
I still have tears in my eyes and I think I may have sharted. Thank you!
Parody Princess - June 21, 2010 - Report this comment
This is really funny.. I hate hearing the original song at karaoke.. Like you said, great minds do think alike! I totally ripped a big fart... You can check out recordings of all my songs on my parody page.. parodyprincess.com. I'm also on facebook under my "real" name.. LOL
Mitch45 - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Terrific terrific work!!!
Nelson Schwartz - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
I love all your lyrics. You are better than my all time favorite singer, Jackson Browne. Until you, he was the greatest lyricist of all time. Please put "I Totally Shit When I Fart" on your Facebook so I can put it on mine so I can dedicate it to my pal who currently has diarrhea. We need to do this asap because that person (notice I protect ID by not saying he or she) is rapidly recovering. I would love you to come to The Whaler tonight and if Steve is there, he can U Tube it and I can play it for that person. Steve is a big drink whore and will do it if I buy him a drink.

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