I've been having diarrhea,
While I'm sitting on this throne,
Well I had a roll of toilet paper,
And used it all,
If I could stop my heiny from unloading so much stool,
Then I'd get up from this toilet, and it would be cool.

But I really have to go,
My baby,
And I really have to lay so much loose shit,
Well it's spray that I need, oh,
And my bowl is full of,
Crap from my sore ass while having to unload
Fumes are gonna drift down the hall.

I feel the shit,
Feel the shit,
Feel the shit, and I gotta let it out,
Oh, not fun, and I swear that I,
That I really have to go,
My baby,
And I really have to lay so much loose shit,
Get spray, aim it low,
My bowl is full of...

Ohhh, but I really gotta lay,
My baby,
Yeah I really gotta lay so much loose shit,
And I'll drop it, yes, it's building up.

Tell my butthole that if he knows what is good for him he best give me a break,
How much more loose shit can I make?
And now I'll think twice to stick that spoiled food down my big throat,
Believe me when I say that I need something for my wet ass.

'Cause I really have to go,
My baby,
And what I'm really sad to say is there's just one,
Piece left,
For my wiping, yeah,
And I've gotta defecate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah