Song Parodies ->Authors -> Lon Comments

Born, raised, and lived in Los Angeles my entire life (June 1st, 1970----I had to be a Gemini to be this crazy, right?), I started writing adult humor parody lyrics in the summer of 1999, after spontaneously singing something one day while driving with my good friend and former band mate in our eventual adult humor parody music group, Smashing Rumpkin. He cracked up at whatever parody I was singing (I can't even remember it now!) and said that he also likes doing that. He was also an aspiring regular song writer at the time, as well as a great musician and singer, so, the next thing I knew, I'd have a new original parody on my voice mail every week from him, it seemed. I had to follow suit, and the next thing you knew, we had each come up with several great songs (many of which are on the site right now) on our own. Then, one magical day, we collaborated on our first song, "Douching With Listerine" (based on Sarah McLaughlin's "Building the Mystery"---I still don't have this song written out beyond a verse and chorus, so it's not on the whatfreaks site, but you can hear it on my CD; my apologies!), and, eventually, we had about 20 songs written, so we decided to form our Smashing Rumpkin group. Our first gig was a 30 minute TV appearance on a Public Access Network show, and we really had a tight performance, so our next goal was to have a LIVE show in front of an audience. A few months later, in late 2001, our dream became a reality. It was, at the time, the best day of my adult life. The audience LOVED it, and we even got the entire room of about 60 people to sing along with our "Cum With My Dildo" ("Come To My Window"). After another live show at the same LA cabaret theatre/restaurant and another appearance on the same Public Access Network show (which was even better than the previous one), we had our biggest moment (and still the FUNNEST day of my adult life) as a featured act for a big LA radio station's annual variety show, 95.5 KLOS' "Viva Libido 2002" in front of about 1500 people, many of whom were waving lighters during our slowed down version of "Cock in Your Wife" ("Time of Your Life/Good Riddance"). We didn't even have a website or CD at this time, but, after hearing from the radio station about a week later that several listeners called up asking if we did, that became our next step (please check it out at Unfortunately, our next live show at a local sports bar didn't go so well thanks to a poor turn out and drama from my partner's ex-fiance making a drunken fool out of herself, so he gave up.

Smashing Rumpking may have died (though I continued to sell some CDs and still have the website afloat, as earlier mentioned), but my love of adult humor parody music DIDN'T!! I have since written many, many new songs and finished several of the ones my buddy and I had only partially written. I go karoke singing almost every week and often, depending on how liberal the venue is, still sing them, usually to an unsuspecting audience. I have found that my karaoke audiences can generally be divided into 3 categories: those who arn't paying attention and have NO idea that I'm changing the words, those who are mortally offended by my new words (mainly good looking women, unfortunately---I guess they don't want to hear me singing "I Totally Shit When I Fart" or "My Piss is on Fire" or even "Because Your Clit is on My Lips"), and those who think it's the funniest shit they have ever heard and who can't believe I'm not doing this in Vegas as a lounge act! In my "real" life, I work as a physical therapist, mainly doing geriatric rehabilitation at a nursing home, and I'm also a fine artist (though I haven't done much drawing lately in favor of my NEW love of writing these goofy songs).

So keep up your votes and comments (even if they're bad---honesty IS the best policy, and I can always just tell you to go F yourself---lol). And please visit my other website to hear my CD. I'd love to send you a copy! Oh, I forgot to mention that I also have 2 other songs on youtube right now, "Hung Just Like a Mule" ("Hungry Like the Wolf") and "Nipple Hair" ("I'll Be There"----I actually wrote this about 3 weeks before Michael Jackson passed away---great timing, huh? I'm sure he's looking down and laughing as I know how much he loved Weird Al's work). There must be a reason why I'm on this site, as I ACCIDENTALLY found it years ago while google searching my name for the first time. I had NO idea it existed, but I saw something on Google about a parody song with MY name in the lyrics! ("I Shot the Parrot, but I Didn't Kill Miss Blakely"). Why the author of that parody used my full name in his song is beyond me, but thank God he did, as it led me to the other site (, which got me on the path to

Solo parodies written appear below. Click on a column header to resort the page (ascending order, click again for decending order). Resorting on large pages might take a minute on slower machines or Internet Explorer.

Parody: An Anal Man
Daunte Lapree Carter - April 11, 2010 - Report this comment
What makes this parody unique is that it shows that you are a good comedian just by the words chosen. "and I know it competes With Fergie's or even J Lo's." was funny.
Doc Woody - May 08, 2010 - Report this comment
what, no "sit on my schlong tonight?" ;-) nah, far be it from me to second guess any parodist's lyrics, especially with a song of this quality! Props to you.
Parody Princess - July 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Lon, Genius as usual!

Parody: Another Dick With Some Balls
Daunte L. Carter - February 17, 2010 - Report this comment
All 5's and the parody was very funny, but good. I enjoyed following it on the U-tube. I'm not a fan of Pink Floyd, but I like "Pink" who goes by the name of Alecia Moore. Every heard any of her songs?

Parody: Are They Fake Tits?
mike - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment

Parody: Arma Armenians
mike - July 14, 2013 - Report this comment

Parody: Beaver
Parody Princess - June 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Pretty Funny!!
mike - February 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Callmelennie - January 30, 2016 - Report this comment
Reminds me of the time I ate Peggy Lee's beaver. Not really, Lon .... but isn't that every man's fantasy -- to eat out Peggy Lee?

Parody: Bent
Piss Ant - February 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Even though you didn't change the title, I still think it's hilarious. 555s

Parody: Blow Me Now
Ken - January 07, 2012 - Report this comment
When I watched your live performance I heard the line "Train on Me!" instead of "Drain on me". I guess you meant something like "Drain [all your pent-up blow-job energy] on me". I kinda like "Train on me" which implies your unselfish kindness to lend your girlfriend a helping cock and be her coach any time she needs to practice her techniques.

Parody: Boning In The Sheep
mike - August 27, 2013 - Report this comment

Parody: Butter Face
Lon Brown - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
FYI, I had a typo on the second verse. "Having her 'wask',,,," should have read "Having her wear a mask would be a good option" (sorry, I wrote it late at night)
Charles W - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
You got something

Parody: Clit On My Lips
Doc Woody - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Love the old school angle here. And this guy's like me. An average lay, but when I whip out the linguistics, the ladies toss their pocket rockets out the window :-)
mike - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment

Parody: Cock in Your Wife
Pinner - July 05, 2009 - Report this comment
You are right Lon.. Great pervs do think alike.. I love the song and have been working on one with a very similar title. Hopefully it will post in the next week or so. Keep up the hilarious work.
Burnley Sad Acts - September 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Lon, Are You Like A Professional Parody Writer Or Summet Cos These Are Genius. There Gods Compared To My Lil Efforts Of Creativity. Thnks 4 Thinkin Im Doin Summet Right =]

Parody: Cum With My Dildo
Doc Woody - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I always imagined in this song "I'm coming home" would be replaced with "I'm cumming... ohhhhh!" Still gave me a good laugh!

Parody: During Falacio
MadameA, aka Andria - July 26, 2009 - Report this comment
This was pretty good, but you misspelled "fellatio". 5s.
Lon - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
My apologies for misspelling "fellatio"---I DID do a google search on the word, thinking it was spelled "fallacio," and this spelling DID come up as if it was correct.

Parody: Every Time You Blow Away
A-Dub - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Johnson oooooze.... nasty!! (and brilliant!) thanks for the mention, we're the new Semen and Garfuckel!

Parody: Fist Me
Doc Woody - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Six gents... none the tighter! haha! Glad to see someone work with this song. Oh, and 4 fingers is easy. It's the carpals that mess it up. you can't squeeze them into a 2x2 box like the fingers.

Parody: Give It Up For Free
Daunte Lapree Carter - April 11, 2010 - Report this comment
I can't stop laughing. The plot is as follows: An expensive whore is using you, but costing you a fortune, and she won't even cooperate with you in bed. How funny. Great job. All 5's.

Parody: Hand Job Me
Parody Princess - August 01, 2011 - Report this comment
As always Lon, funny!!

Parody: Hand Jobs Make Me Spew a Bit
Doc Woody - November 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Haha... "who needs a twat when her hand is in motion"

Parody: Handslide
Callmelennie - May 08, 2013 - Report this comment
And it all comes up for you .. Well, you know that it does and ... Ejaculate strikes, maybe once maybe twice ... Ooh and it flies through the night ... And you squeeze your dipstick .... you squeeze your dipstick
Lon - June 05, 2013 - Report this comment
I like it!! I might have to continue your idea.

Parody: Herpes Blisters
Mitch45 - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment

Parody: (How Do I Get You) To Bone
Neil - March 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice, but a little simple. Good context with "how do I get you to bone."
mike - February 19, 2013 - Report this comment

Parody: Hung Just Like a Mule
Robert - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
...his pacing is PERFECT when he does this one live, trust me, I saw the fucking guy do this on and "My Cock in your Wife" (The Time of my Life) by Green Day!! HAHAHAHHAHHA HAHAHHAHAHAHHA
metaleagle777 - March 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Parody Princess - June 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Really like it! Awesome!

Parody: I Fisted A Girl
Robert - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
DAMN, this guy just doesn't quit!! Please leave up your wesite or contact info and keep cranking them out. LMFAO
Wagasm - May 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Lon, you have some serious twisted talent! You should have your own website! The big parody players who make it big need to find the balls the team up with you and do some racy parodies... listenin' Yankovic...?

Parody: I Gotta Go Pee
mike - February 26, 2013 - Report this comment

Parody: (I Got the AIDS Down in) Africa
A-Dub - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Finely crafted, and fair warning to anyone wanting a little "Rumble in the jungle." 5's!

Parody: I'm a Wet Dreamer
Andrew Woodard - October 24, 2012 - Report this comment
You stop having them by the time you're 18 usually, but think back... you MUST have had one as a kid!! :-P Great song, as always!
Lon - October 27, 2012 - Report this comment
NO!! I never did!! Thanks for the comp, though.

Parody: I Totally Shit When I Fart
Pinner - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done as usual Lon
Burnley Sad Acts - August 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Amateur Transplants Did The Anaethetists Hymn But that dwindles in comparison to this amazing parody. Your Quite the expert.
Rudee - March 12, 2010 - Report this comment
This song used to really annoy me. Your version is MUCH better! Funny as hell!
Jacek - April 25, 2010 - Report this comment
I still have tears in my eyes and I think I may have sharted. Thank you!
Parody Princess - June 21, 2010 - Report this comment
This is really funny.. I hate hearing the original song at karaoke.. Like you said, great minds do think alike! I totally ripped a big fart... You can check out recordings of all my songs on my parody page.. I'm also on facebook under my "real" name.. LOL
Mitch45 - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Terrific terrific work!!!
Nelson Schwartz - March 18, 2013 - Report this comment
I love all your lyrics. You are better than my all time favorite singer, Jackson Browne. Until you, he was the greatest lyricist of all time. Please put "I Totally Shit When I Fart" on your Facebook so I can put it on mine so I can dedicate it to my pal who currently has diarrhea. We need to do this asap because that person (notice I protect ID by not saying he or she) is rapidly recovering. I would love you to come to The Whaler tonight and if Steve is there, he can U Tube it and I can play it for that person. Steve is a big drink whore and will do it if I buy him a drink.

Parody: (I've Had) Good Times With Your Wife
Piss Ant - February 23, 2011 - Report this comment
Funny stuff. 555

Parody: Lester's Gay
Doc Woody - August 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Very well done, but, say, does a song ever strike you as such an iconic moment in music history that you almost don't want to parody it? Or is it like Everest, that you have to parody it "just because it's there?"
Kevin - November 14, 2015 - Report this comment
I'm using Tor to vote this homophobic crap off here.... I'm responsible for ALL the "1' votes...

Parody: Let Her Blow
Andrew - June 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Welcome to Wandering Oaken's Trading post. Big Summer Blowjob! Looks like we both knocked this one out of the park! Hilarious!

Parody: Little Weenie
Daunte Lapree Carter - November 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks again, Lon for another well-crafted parody. I thought it was funny, entertaining, and consistent with the pacing of the original. My favorite part of your parody, "Little Weenie," was the line "'Cause I want you to have more size than that." And in the original song it was, "And I want you to be my acrobat." Nice work. And thanks.

Parody: Masturbate
Andrew - June 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Maybe she's so easy to parody because you can't help thinking dirty thoughts watching her videos ;-) Thanks for the continued laughs! i'm on my way to breaking the 69 parody barrier myself.
Lon - June 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Oh, yeah----she makes my top 10 hot girls list every year. Keep up your great work, too (loved the new songs)

Parody: Masturbation
Doc Woody - May 23, 2010 - Report this comment
I always imagined this parody should exist. Your incarnation of it does not disappoint!
Harlow Goobly - June 03, 2010 - Report this comment
This is funny stuff! And great title substitution.

Parody: Measure B
Doc Woody - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
"B" sure to watch the YouTube video everyone! A topical, appropriate melancholy song for a melancholy occasion.
Lon - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
And you can view that video by going to my youtube channel (links are listed on the "RECORDINGS" section of this website). Thanks Doc Woody!!

Parody: Menage A Trois
Robert - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I saw this guy perform live once at a Kareoke bar and he is FUNNY AS FUCK!!! Does all kinds of songs......I gotta get this guy to do my party someday!!

Parody: Menage A Trois
Piss Ant - March 05, 2009 - Report this comment
It seems like you submitted this one twice. How come?

Parody: Mr. Backside
Lon - December 08, 2011 - Report this comment

Parody: My Piss is on Fire
Daunte Lapree Carter - September 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I like the way you kept every section and verse consistent with the original, and yet you were able to demonstrate good songwriting craft and creativity.

Parody: Nice Behind
Parody Princess - January 03, 2011 - Report this comment
ow? but still funny!

Parody: Nipple Hair
mike - July 06, 2013 - Report this comment
r i p michael jackson

Parody: One Cheek
Mitch45 - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job on a very difficult song to parody. I just wish the second stanza was different than the first.

Parody: The One Who Turned Out Gay
Lolwut School Kidz - January 16, 2012 - Report this comment
I'd sing that now for a loong time

Parody: Please Stop Your Queefing
Parody Princess - June 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Don't Stop Believing is my all-time LEAST favorite song.. you hear it at karaoke 4-5 times a night sometimes.. This is a version I might actually like to hear at karaoke. kudos!

Parody: Porn in the USA
Callmelennie - January 18, 2013 - Report this comment
Very good. Now give "Porn on the Bayou" a shot (baroomp ching!) I did it over on Amiright's parody section. It's easy -- Sub "Deleeuw" for "hooddo", "groaning with old Harry Reems" for "rolling with some Cajun queen"; and "Behind a Door of Green" for "down to New Orleans" -- and you're halfway home

Parody: She Passes Wind
Andrew Woodard - October 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Dear Lon, Please finish the following... "Now I've had the time of my DEATH No I've never felt decay before. yes I swear...I'm confused. Cause I'm turning all to ooze."

Parody: Shoot a Big Load
Doc woody - December 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Sounds like national lamporn's fellation
Doc woody - December 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Sounds like national lamporn\\'s fellation

Parody: Soiled Underwear
Rudee - October 10, 2014 - Report this comment

Parody: Somebody That You Used to Blow
Perv420 - June 11, 2013 - Report this comment
I liked the alteration of words and phrases that go with the topic.

Parody: Squirt's So Good
No, the Chorus should be - June 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Squirt so good Come on baby make it squirt so good Sometimes love don't taste like it should

Parody: Teenage Cream
McKenna - March 05, 2012 - Report this comment
No lie, I loved this parody. Good job!

Parody: That Girl's a Dyke (Carpet Muncher)
Kaylee Jessica - March 17, 2012 - Report this comment
Dude...this is AWESOME!

Parody: (They) Sound All the Same
Doc Woody - March 01, 2011 - Report this comment
The telltale contractions - no faking those! ;-P Another fun one for your huge body of work.

Parody: Tiny Pecker
Doc Woody - May 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Micropenis - LOL! Perhaps it's biographical of Elton John instead!