Saint NIck There was a fat guy named Saint Nick; One night his wife took a faint lick. Her plaint was, "Hey, dear, There's taste of reindeer, So please go scrub off that taint, quick!"
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Saint Paul Masquerade Ball There was a young man from Saint Paul Who went to a masquerade ball Just for a stunt He went dressed as a cunt And was fucked by a dog in the hall
Submitted by: Roy J
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Sally Sally's smell can't be hidden by powder. The odor just gets even louder. The boys, they do yell. They tell her, 'You smell Just like a bowl of fish chowder!' Submitted by: Tia
| Sam, Ham, Jam There once was a pig named Sam He really liked Ham He loved Honey-Garlic But he hated Farlic Now he doesn't eat ham, he eats Jam
Submitted by: Hockey_Boy
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San Francisco Disco Back in the 70's in San Francisco, There was a prestigious gay disco. You could come to dance, Then take off your pants, And get ass-fucked with help from poppers and crisco. Submitted by: Hello Konichiwa
| Sandy There once was a woman named Sandy Whose Internet chats made her randy But she never feels down When her husband leaves town For she always finds cucumbers handy Submitted by: Gazza
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Santa Santa said to sweet little Mandy Your help would come in really handy Did you know that my dick Is a peppermint stick? So come here and suck on my candy Submitted by: Craig Nelson
| Santa's North Pole The department store Santa was burly, His snowy-white beard was quite curly. But they hauled him away, When the guard heard him say, 'Want to see the North Pole, little girly?' Submitted by: Johnny D
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Screwed In Bude There was a young woman from Bude Who every so often got stewed. Then, as she had planned, She would walk down the strand, In the hope that she'd get herself screwed.
Submitted by: Dixon Prix
| The Sea Captain's Bride The Sea Captain's young bride, fell into the bay at low tide, You could tell by her squeals, that some of the eels, had found a new dark place to hide. Submitted by: Glenn
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Seattle There once was a man from Seattle, And every weekend he’d skedaddle To where it’s bucolic, And there he would frolic With whole Holstein herds of she cattle. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| The Septuagenarian There once was a septuagenarian Who married a maiden named Marion Having on his meat fed The bride to her groom said, “This is rather like dining on carrion.” Submitted by: MykeAq
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Sex Pricing There was a young hooker named Annie Who's prices for sex were uncanny A Buck For A Fuck Fifty Cents For A Suck, And a Dime For A Feel Of Her FANNY
Submitted by: Poopstain
| Sexy Rexy There was a king, Oedipus Rex, Who married his mom and had sex. He learned of his sin; Now he’s an eponym For a very well-known complex. Submitted by: John A. Barry
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Shag a Cadaver Said horny old Henry Von Kraver When asked if he'd shag a cadaver, "If she's pretty in form, and the body's still warm, you betcha I'd strip 'er and have 'er!"
Submitted by: Andrew Woodard
| Sherlock Holmes 'Ah, lemon curd! I see you've got some Now bend over!' said Holmes 'and put lots on' 'But, Holmes, I'm quite sore Pray, what IS it for?' 'A lemon entry, my dear Watson' Submitted by: philbobaggins
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Shotgun There once was a young girl named Carol, Who doffed every stitch of apparel And went to the arms shelf, Where she pleasured herself With a freshly oiled shotgun barrel.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Shotgun Wedding It turns out it was not fun bedding The girl, because now her slot's shedding The placental matter, And just nine months after They married in a shotgun wedding.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
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Shrink Wrap The therapist looks at his lap And molds her hands as if to clap— Then moves each cupped hand To surround his upped gland, Close in and give him a 'shrink wrap.'
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Siamese Twins There once were two Siamese twins Connected all over their skins. As hard as we tried We couldn't decide Where one stops and the other begins. Submitted by: Tia
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A Sick Hick There once was a sick hick named Rick Who liked to put shit on a stick. The shit he did smear On sheep far and near And laughed as he fed them his dick. Submitted by: Tia
| sick!!! There was a young man called dave, Who dug up a prostitutes grave. She was mouldy as shit, and missing a tit, But look at the money he saved Submitted by: Adam Henderson
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Smelly Shelly There once was an old whore named Shelly Whose cunt was appallingly smelly But her bull-dyke friend Sue Started sucking her slough And ate sebum and KY jelly.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Smirking Pervert There once was a pervert, caught lurking Outside bedroom window and jerking Off while his pet chimp, The opposite of limp, Had his post past the pervert's lips, smirking.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
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Snakes, Or A Python In His Pants There was a young whore who would make Advances to snake after snake. She said, 'I'm so impecunious, 'My position is ruinous! 'I'll do it for what I can take.'
Submitted by: Dixon Prix
| Socket Sex A plug came upon a wall socket. It would have no resistance to fuck it. Afraid to have a kid, You'd do what it did, Wore a condom and that way didn't shock it. Submitted by: Ken Tao
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Spermin' Herman There once was an old priest named Herman, Who, when not deliv'ring a sermon Had the choir boys squirmin' On his scepter, firmin' And into their fundaments spermin'.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Spunky There is a soda 'jerk' named Bunky, Who serves a sundae that is chunky. And the frothy whipped cream Is a true gourmets' dream. Little do they know that it's spunky.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
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Sticky Moments A leery young man from Cawsand Thought stroking his todger was grand. But he stared with distaste At the hot, sticky paste, That he found in the palm of his hand.
Submitted by: Dixon Prix
| Storm there was a gay fellow named Storm who wanted so much to reform but he lived by the bay where everyone's gay and so he was much in the norm Submitted by: scribe of egypt
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Stripper There once was a sexy young stripper, Whose crotch used to stink like a kipper; The men at the front, Used to sniff at her cunt, While those at the back used to whip her. Submitted by: Stafford Shashoua
| Stuffing Santa's Stocking Santa's sex-life was something worth mocking, 'Til Viagra made it quite shocking. Now he keeps for himself A concubine elf And has no trouble stuffing his stocking. Submitted by: Johnny D
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Susie Swallows, So They Say Did Susie so fully ingest The seamen of Haverfordwest, That jolly jack tars In Pembroke Dock bars, Exploded her 34 chest?
Submitted by: Dixon Prix
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