Calandra Godmother The big tough godmother of Calandra Always went out with her bulletproof bra Butt shot by a pistoler Tore ass through to fistula Now she sits kind of odd in her bulletproof car Submitted by: Ken Tao
| Can't Wait I just can't wait til you're back from your much-too-long tour in Iraq I'll be waiting right here with my cute little rear my ruby lips and my rack! Submitted by: A Serviceman's Wife
|
Carole I know a young lady called Carole, Who sells her well worn apparel; Her stockings and bras Go to Michael and Lars But she sends her soiled panties to Darrell. Submitted by: Stafford Shashoua
| Carole Platt As a girl, Carole loved to do tricks, Rubbing and wanking all the boys' dicks; As she got older, She grew even bolder, And sucked off loads of mens' pricks. Submitted by: Stafford Shashoua
|
Carole Platt A teenager called Carole Platt, Was known for her tasty young twat, Boys lined up at the door Of this sexy young whore, Saying " Carole's cunt's where it's at!" Submitted by: Stafford Shashoua
| Carry Me There was an old man from Laramie, Who asked a young woman, 'Marry me! I've got lots of money, But there's one thing, honey: O'er the threshold YOU must carry ME!'
Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Castor Oil A large Canuck trapper of otter Spent months in the wild, near the water, When his pelt-count was high, He would then trap fur pie: The beaver of his comely daughter. * * * His hormones then started to boil, His big dick, it started to roil. He fucked her with vigor, Injecting a jigger. He winked and called it "castor oil."
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| A Cat named Cali. We once had a cat named Cali, who used just love to play with Sally, she said to the cat, what are doing on my back, and all Cali would do is meow. Submitted by: J.D. Somner
|
Catherine the Great The Russian queen Catherine the Great Rushed to lean on the corral gate. She summoned her lover Who reared up above her Then bucked at a furious rate. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cheeky The lord's valet was rather sneaky; Each morning, the lord's arse was leaky. At last he suspected That he’d been injected— 'I say! The lad’s been a bit cheeky.'
Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Chris There once was a lady named Chris Who had trouble when taking a piss She hosed on the floor And all over the door Wherever she pissed, she missed Submitted by: Leo Keough
| Christmas Limerick Santa was packing his sleigh To bring all the toys Christmas Day. But he felt a big schwing On his jolly red thing And with his reindeer, he hammered away.
Submitted by: John Jangle Jenkenheimer Schmidt
|
Cleveland Steamer Chrissy was a world class whore, for 5 bucks she'd promise you'd score, on your chest she would crap a dookie laced with the clap, you'd wished you never opened the door!. Submitted by: Team Dirty Sanchez
| College Students part 1 College students do drink too much booze. One day their own license they'll lose. But, oh, what the hay, It's better that way. It's each our own path that we choose. Submitted by: Tia
|
College Students part 2 College students do drink too much beer. It is bad for their livers, I fear. They'll croak and they'll die Without knowing why. To rot one's own organs, it's queer. Submitted by: Tia
| Comedian Santa said to sweet little Mandy Your help would come in really handy Did you know that my dick Is a peppermint stick? So come here and suck on my candy Submitted by: Craig Nelson
|
Comedian A buttman who lived in Regina Was dating a young girl from China For weeks and for weeks He just played with her cheeks and completely ignored her vagina
Submitted by: Craig Nelson
| Compass Penis I know a man, he never loses his direction. When he faces north he gets an erection. But when he faces south, He ass-fucks himself. He lives at the south pole, explaining his pale complexion. Submitted by: Hello Konichiwa
|
Condi There once was a bull dyke named Condi, Who said to a schoolgirl, "Get on me And plunge your young tongue In my cunt and my bung, And I'll rim your quim, fringed with blondie."
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Conniption Clit The doc of a nympho Egyptian Said to her, "Here is my prescription: Land a man who has fits, Clamp him close to your clit, Then hope that he has a conniption."
Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cooz She was known for swallowing spooge Loads that were small or were huge She let out a gasp As cooz gushed out his asp These boys sure delivered a deluge.
Submitted by: Greg and Dave
| Couple From Odelli There once was a couple from Odelli Who stuck themselves belly to belly Because in their haste they used library paste Instead of petroleum jelly Submitted by: Clay Cook
|
A couple of Whores There once were a couple of whores Whose cunts were all covered with sores As they strolled down the street The dogs snapped at the green meat That hung in festoons from their drawers.
Submitted by: Pete
| Cranky Yankee There once was a hard-bitten Yankee, Who was aloof, stubborn, and cranky. His house was a mess, And his son wore a dress, And his daughter and wife were damned skanky. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Crying Game A theater troop who was gay. Re-wrote "Crying Game" as a play. Now the dude won't get sick When the chick sports a dick He just shouts, "Must be my lucky day!" Submitted by: Anonymous
| The Cuckold Au jour, adieu; c'est, tant pis, soir. Le cocut demeure dans le noir. A son oncle, neveu dit: "Il faut uriner, vite!" Mais il baise sa tante au pissoir. * * * Night darkens the day; hear uncle grouse. This cuckold is blind to his dunked spouse. His nephew's piquant hiss: "I must dismiss some piss!" In fact, he piques aunt in the outhouse. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 1 There’s a cunnilinguist named Ed, Whose tongue once every month is red ’cause it laps at the thatch Of his gal’s sanguine snatch, Right after it’s profusely bled. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 10 There's a cunnilinguist named Pete, Who loves to genuflect and eat. He once ran the hundred; Tongue runs now get cunts stirred In what he jokes is a "crack meet." Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 11 There's a cunnilinguist named Leach, Whose tongue has a very long reach. This lingual utensil Is nearly prehensile. . . Orgasms from organ of speech. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 12 There's a cunnilinguist named Leach, Who turned up his nose at a peach. That's because this diner Eats greasy vagina. "I'll have a snatch snack," he'll beseech. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 13 There's a cunnilinguist named Jack, Whose tube-like tongue's found in a crack. But the juice from the sluice Sometimes makes it slip loose And slide where it's puce--in the back. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 14 There's a cunnilinguist named Drake, Whose tongue's sinuous, like a snake. In slithers the serpent, Whose slurpin' gets her spent. Sibilant shrieks, climax--not fake. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 15 There's a cunnilinguist named Jim, And his mustache has a neat trim. A stache that is bushy Get tangled in pussy Fur that skims the rim of the quim. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 16 There's a cunnilinguist named Ron, Who pleasures his girlfriend named Dawn. Not until she has come Is his tonguing task done, After which, the organ's withdrawn. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 17 There's a cunnilinguist named Al, Whose tongue, when it is unleashed shall Start to making inroads Up where go many chodes: Commodius hole of a gal. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 18 There's a cunnilinguist named Marv, And it isn't viands he'll carve With tongue—there's none finer To whet a vagina. Marv has never been known to starve. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 19 There's a cunnilinguist named George, Whose fervid forefinger would forge Into his girlfriend's twat. After that got her hot, He bored his tongue into her gorge. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 2 There’s a cunnilinguist named Dave, Who likes to get down there and lave His babe’s inundation. . . Clean her menstruation. Mouth agape, he waits for a wave. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 20 There's a cunnilinguist named Phil, Who has a tongue like a duck's bill. And sometimes he quacks When it flies inside cracks. He'll fill 'em and give a trill thrill. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 21 There's a cunnilinguist named Ruben, Who gets his girl hot till she's lubin', With a fine finger frig, And then he shapes his big Tongue like a piece of rubber tubin'. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 22 There's a cunnilinguist named Kit, And he gets her set with his mitt, So when she is ready, He lowers his head; she Grabs his ears and pulls toward her clit. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 23 There's a cunnilinguist named Kit, And he gets her set with his mitt, So when she's hot to trot, His mouth enters her slot And sucks like a vac on her clit. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 24 There's a cunnilinguist named Roger, And even though he is a codger, He does not suck or gum To make his young wife come. In her tunnel, his tongue's a lodger. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 25 There's a cunnilinguist named Dick, Who likes to go down on his Chick. But he can't get his tongue Past her clit, and he's glum, Because it's incredibly thick. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 26 There's a cunnilinguist named Dick, Who likes to go down on his Chick. The guy is voracious, Aided by sebaceous Secretions his calls the "oil slick." Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 27 There's a cunnilinguist named Dick, Who likes to go down on his Chick. The guy is voracious, Aided by sebaceous Secretions his calls the "oil slick." Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 3 There’s a cunnilinguist named Frank, Who loves to go down on a skank. His friends are repulsed When he tells them, “She pulsed, And avariciously I drank.” Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 4 There’s a cunnilinguist named Frank, Who loves to go down on a skank. Although he admits When he gags on rag bits, The taste sensation's rather rank. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 5 There’s a cunnilinguist named Norm, Who’s hot for the vaginal form. Where he lives, it’s so cold, A tongue sticks to a pole. He thus keeps his speech organ warm. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 6 There’s a cunnilinguist named Bob, Who doesn’t like sticking his knob Into his girlfriend’s gulf-- He would much rather gulp While she watches his big head bob. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 7 There’s a cunnilinguist named Bob, Who gives his girl a sluice-splay job, But he slurps during lunch, And she has a slight hunch That slaverin’ Bob is a slob. Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Cunnilinguist 8 There’s a cunnilinguist named Paul, Who goes down on gals but don’t ball. He speaks with a full mouth, Like some hick from the South. His bad eating habits appall. Submitted by: John A. Barry
|
Cunnilinguist 9 There's a cunnilinguist named Walt, Tongue torqued in a vaginal vault. The guy is fixated On getting chicks sated. Gals call: "Oy gevalt, Walt, don't halt!!" Submitted by: John A. Barry
|