bad limerick Sometimes it makes me sick that every guy seems to think with his dick they're always farting in bed and begging for head and won't go down on us for a good lick Submitted by: ashley
| Bar > Bat Mitzvah A mohel bent to clip at a bris, But he slipped and it went amiss. He said, "The bar mitzvah Will be a bat mitzvah, Because I just made him a miss."
Submitted by: John A. Barry
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Bartender named Tim There was a bartender named Tim, And he had incredible vim As well as vigor-- Jigger after jigger He poured, without pause, in her quim.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Bator Blocker There once was a young man named Walker, Who confessed one day to his doctor: "Too often I jerk it." Doc said, "This will work--it Is what I call a ‘’bator blocker.’" Submitted by: John A. Barry
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The Battle of Lou/Higgins Well, There is Higgins, Then there is Louie. They both hate each other, Cuz' of some parodies. Battle of Lou/Higgins. Submitted by: S.T.G.
| Beat the Meatles By tweeting, Weiner was undone; He thought that he was having fun A fan of the Fab Four. . . His fave tune that they bore Was "Happiness Is a Warm Gun." Submitted by: John A. Barry
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Better place to eat I once knew this well hung coal miner Who said to his wife lets eat out at the diner But she replied OH NO HONEY Lets save our money Cause i'd rather go sixty-niner Submitted by: Larry Stewart
| Bigger Than Serengeti There lived a guy in Cincinnati Whose dick was as long as spaghetti But it wasn't thin Cause when it went in 'Twas bigger than yon Serengeti! Submitted by: Royce
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Billy's Fart Big Billy once cut a huge fart. The sound was way off the chart. The blast was so long And awfully strong That it blew the poor boy apart. Submitted by: Tia
| bird there was a young lady called pitts who was known far and wide for her bits then one day at the vickers she took off her knickers and flashed her magnificent tits Submitted by: the only living boy in new york
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birthcontrol In days of old, when knights were bold, and rubbers hadn't been invented, a sock around the cock, and babys were prevented. Submitted by: sick-o
| Blowing the Fife A woodwind musican named Phyffe Wed a know-no-vibrato wife. She asked, "What's my duty When I've said, 'I do'?" He Then taught her how to blow his fife.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
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Blumpkin There once was a man from Iran Who would only have sex on the can He flushed when he finished But the chances diminished That he'd see each woman again Submitted by: Tim
| Bob I once knew this guy named Bob Who had an unusual job. He shot people dead, Square in the head, And that's 'cause he worked with the mob. Submitted by: space orange
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Bob the Burg'lar There once was a burg'lar named Bob Who loved finding markets to rob But his crime spree was tripped When his asshole was ripped By an oversized corn-on-the-cob Submitted by: Leo Keough
| Boris There was a Kapellmeister, Boris, Who led a private girls' school chorus. He was a castrato; To effect vibrato, He'd trill his tongue on each clitoris.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
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Boris A frigid young lass from Darjeeling Denied she had sexual feeling Till a cynic called Boris Just touched her clitoris And she had to be scraped off the ceiling
Submitted by: Stevie T
| Boston Mass there once was a man from boston mass whose balls were made of brass when he hit them together it made stormy weather and lightning shot out of his ass Submitted by: tony miele
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Boston Tea Party There once was a person from Boston, Who found the town fine to get lost in. At the Tea Party Ship, He gave too much lip, So along with the tea, he was tossed in. Submitted by: Johnny D
| A boy from Taiwan There once was a boy from Taiwan Who wore a silky red thong He fell on his back And it went up his crack So now he sings a high-pitched song
Submitted by: YASMR
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Boys and Girls The boys and girls would chatter With words and whispers and laughter But only did they know They when they talked about each other so, They never did it after. Submitted by: Jena
| Brains up His ASS John is a guy we all know He is dumb but he won't let it show When he tries to be smart His ass cuts a fart 'Cause brains are located BELOW! Submitted by: Steve Wharton
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Breasts When little, I thought girls were pests, 'Til they started developing breasts. As their forms rearranged, My opinions soon changed, And I now enjoy watching their chests.
Submitted by: Chris
| Brent Done Right There once was a man named Brent Whose cock was so long it was bent To save him the trouble He put it in double So instead of coming he went Submitted by: gj
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Brewski Blueski A brewery worker named Lee Drowned in a vat of brewski I regretfully say He didn't drown right away ---He climbed out five times to wee-wee! Submitted by: Randy Boyer
| Bridge at Buckingham A voyeur, by the name of Ruckingham Would stand on the bridge down at Buckinham Watching the stunts Of the cunts in the punts And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking 'em.
Submitted by: Tetenterre
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brigadoon Anal sex was forbiden, to hear Betsy talk when boyfriend tried, she would always balk till one night she got drunk and most of us thunk she tried it because of her bowlegged walk Submitted by: Randy
| brigadoon Poor Wally had a problem with size to all his dates, he had to tell lies but at the moment of truth they expected Babe Ruth but got Pee Wee Reese in disguise Submitted by: Randy
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Brissed Brick A Jewish driver of a Chevy Has a foot like lead, very heavy. If he needed real weight To, brisk, accelerate, He used the brick brissed by Mohel Levy.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| Britney Spears' Brassieres There was an old man from Algiers Who often collected brassieres. And so it is told He thought they should hold The boobies of the Britney Spears. Submitted by: Tia
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Buddy Can You Spare Me Two Minutes I’m skint and I’m down on my luck, Sweet Nadja won’t give me a suck. I’ll submit a report. If you’ll take my ‘retort’. For Chrissake, come give me a fuck!
Submitted by: Dixon Prix
| The Butcher & His Wife There Once Was A Butcher Named Hutton Who Had A Wife Who Loved To Eat Mutton He Stepped Up Behind Her And Pushed Her In The Grinder No Hutton, No Mutton, No Nothin. Submitted by: Garr Norick
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Butcher from Geneva There was a butcher from Geneva, Who bungled a cut with his cleaver. He missed the chopping block; Chopped off's his missing cock, But docs fashioned an ersatz beaver.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| A Butcher named Hank There once was a butcher named Hank that all of the women would thank while preparing their meat he would give them a seat on the tip of his all-beef frank Submitted by: Bird-Man
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Buttered Putter The randy golfer's heard to mutter To his caddy, "Please shove the putter Right up my derrière; Before you square it there, Please lubricate it with some butter!"
Submitted by: John A. Barry
| By the Gallon There once was an old man named Alan, Who hung out with a younger pal, an’ In sucking he’d wallow Until he would swallow The young hung stud’s spunk by the gallon. Submitted by: John A. Barry
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