L'il Willie There once was a well-hung hillbilly,
Who called his huge swelled hunk 'Li'l Willie.'
His young daughter Mildred
Let him into her bed
Each night, and then he would fill Millie.
Submitted by: John A. Barry | The Lady From France There once was a lady from France,
She took a ride on a train by chance,
The Engineer fucked her,
So did the Conductor,
And the brakeman shit in his pants. Submitted by: Glenn |
Lady From Rome There once was a lady from Rome
Who was fucked in the ass by a gnome
She was nimble and quick
When she sat on his dick
His shortcomings were worth writing home Submitted by: Tim | The Lady From Wheeling I once knew a lady from wheeling,
She was so drunk she was reeling,
She fell on her back, and opened her crack,
And pissed all over the ceiling. Submitted by: Glenn |
Lady Named Dinah There once was a lady named Dinah,
She stuck dynamite in her vagina,
Her titties landed in Timbuktu,
And her asshole landed in China. Submitted by: Glenn | The Landlord A landlord who hailed from the gentry
Approached a male tenant on bent knee
And said, 'Let me suck it,
And I will deduct it,
What you pay--you can live here rent-free.'
Submitted by: John A. Barry |
Lapidary There once was an old lapidary,
Who took a just-jizzed lap o' Mary.
But this old stonecutter
Preferred his bone butter
Directly, from a lap o' Larry.
Submitted by: John A. Barry | Large Financial Instrument Said the banker, "My dear, I'll invest
In your venture if you will ingest
A quite large deposit,"
Then her tightened jaws split
And his instrument made ingress.
Submitted by: John A. Barry |
Lass from Bastogne There once was a man from Bastogne,
Who came on a sleeping lass, prone.
She had her clothes up,
And when she woke up,
She found that she'd had her ass boned.
Submitted by: John A. Barry | Lassie from Tarse There was a young lassie from Tarse,
whose virginal claim was a farce.
Tho' her cherry intact,
She loved the sex act...
You could drive a damned truck up her arse. Submitted by: Tobu |
Laura There was a first lady named Laura
Whose good friends praised her smiling aura.
Turns out, she was happy
'Cause her tongue's in nappy
Pubes of a big bulldyke named Nora.
Submitted by: John A. Barry | The Leprechaun A sly Leprechaun nicknamed Mickey
With his dickie was pretty tricky.
So he came and he went,
Having several times spent,
Before she knew he'd had a quickie.
Submitted by: John A. Barry |
A Lesbian Girl From Rangoon A lesbian girl from Rangoon
Took a gay lad to her room.
they had a great fight
Lasting all through the night
About how and with what and to whom.
Submitted by: AjanDick | The Lezzie Life There once was a lezzie named Kelsey,
She dated a girl from Chelsea.
They played all the day,
Ate lots of...hay,
And never met anyone elsey. Submitted by: Maria and Kelsey |
Lieberkracks A guy from Wisconsin, a cheesehead
Enjoyed his heifer's hole where's she's bred.
But sometimes liked his pud
In a mouth with no cud,
So said to his wife, "Give me, please, head." Submitted by: John A. Barry | Lil Maria There once was a Lil Maria,
She liked to eat lots of tortilla.
Her eyes were so brown,
That no one would frown,
If she ate and had bad diarrhea. Submitted by: Maria and Kelsey |
Limerick #2 There once was a writer named John
Who went on and on, on and on
His forte’ you see
Was prolificity
His parodies outnumbered songs!
Submitted by: Pair o' D's | Limerick for Josh Kane's songs There once was a man named Hinckley
Whose actions did certainly stinkley.
He is such a pagan
That he tried to kill Reagan
To impress Jodie Foster, I thinkley. Submitted by: Marty McFly |
Local Badass There once was a vampire named Mable
Her periods were particularly stable
By the light of the moon
And with the help of a spoon
She drank herself under the table
Submitted by: Not Important | The Lonely Barbarian There once was a lonely barbarian
With a penis too heavy for carryin'
She tried to be sweet
And suck on his meat
But she was a vegetarian Submitted by: Tim |
Look At Your Dong My God, sweetie, look at your dong!
It's got to be eight inches long!
I'd be happy to lick it,
but I'm not going to stick it
inside me, at least not for long!
Submitted by: Big D | Lord There was a young lady named Jeannie
Whose Dad was a terrible meanie
He fashioned a hatch
And a latch for her snatch
She could only be had by Houdini Submitted by: After Dark |
The Lord The lord, a member of the gentry,
Grew tired of exchanging pleasantries
With his haughty class,
So he sought out an ass
For his member in the peasantry.
Submitted by: John A. Barry | Lord There was a young man from Belgrave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said I admit
I'm a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save Submitted by: After Dark |
lou is a loser I really think lou is quite thick
He may be as smart as a brick
His parodies suck
And he's hung like a duck
And frankly, I think he sucks dick Submitted by: malcolm higgins | The Lousy Limerick Writers These limericks are as bad as they get
Like an illiterate off-tune duet
To come up with such shit
Simply requires a twit
Whos computer can connect to the net
Submitted by: Sarcastic Submitter |
Lumber Jack The lumberjack often can't quell it.
His girlfriend watches her man swell it.
"Take a look at this stand!
Won’t you please take your hand
And chop at it until you fell it!"
Submitted by: John A. Barry | Lurking Pervert There once was a pervert who lurked
Outside bedroom windows and jerked.
He once watched his spouse
Getting fucked in their house
By their dog, and his hand overworked.
Submitted by: John A. Barry |
Lydia There once was a woman named Lydia
Who, for some money, would pity ya
I offered her praise
'My! Real mayonnaise?'
But she said, 'No, it's just my chlamydia' Submitted by: Hugh G. Rection |
