We want your dirty limericks!

Patrick the democrat
Patrick is obviously Democratic.
He can never understand
The evidence at hand,
And his writings are hemorraghic!
Submitted by: Knarf
Penile Screener
You'd think a guy with surname Weiner
Would be just a little bit keener
Than to email his dick
To some random-meet chick.
This guy needs a penile-thoughts screener.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
penpusher
Don't put fireworks in your trouser pocket
or you'll fry up your tackle like a rocket,
Just a gelding you'll be
All boo hoo, No tee hee,
with only one ball and no socket.
Submitted by: Richardson
Peru
There once was a man from Peru
Who decided to sleep in a canou
While dreaming of Venus
With his hand by his penis
woke up with a hand full of goo
Submitted by: Sussex Addicts
Pet Chicken
Big Steve once had a pet chicken.
Deep fried, it was finger lickin'.
The bird became fried
Cuz as hard as he tried
Big Steve could not fit his dick in.
Submitted by: Tia
Peter from Perth
There was a man, Peter, from Perth,
Whose Peter had just the meet girth
For planting his garden,
So when he got hardened,
He hoed with it holes in the earth.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
Pfizer
And up-and-coming drug firm, Pfizer
Wants to make you an early riser.
Had troubles with plumbing?
Just wait--something's coming.
You're now like an Old Faithful geiser.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
The Pig Farmer
In town there's an angry pig farmer,
And his wife's not much of a charmer.
I've heard his dick's not so big,
So he has to sodomize his pigs,
And I think that's what makes him much calmer.
Submitted by: Hello Konichiwa
Pimp's Chimp
There once was a simpering pimp,
Who with his quims was always limp.
He skipped 'em as products;
To stiffen, he'd prod ducts
Of his one true love, his primped chimp.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
Plaster of Paris
There once was an artist name Claris,
Who cast a work that would embarrass
Her very prim patron,
An elderly matron--
A penis of plaster of paris.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
Plein Hair
There was a painter named Ben Mayer,
Who said to his model, 'Bend there.
Iím doing full frontal,
Which means that your cunt'll
Be lustrous, ícause I paint 'plein hair.''
Submitted by: John A. Barry
Plight of the Actor
There once was a Polack named Max,
He did not know how to relax.
He read all his plays,
For thousands of days,
And happily fondled his sacs.
Submitted by: Maria and Kelsey
Plumber From Leigh
There once was a plumber from Leigh,
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea.
She said 'Stop your plumbing,
'There's somebody coming.'
'I know,' said the plumber,
'It's me.'
Submitted by: Kin Tomita-Duarte
Pombo
A fat fag congressman named Pombo,
Pulled off a fellatio combo:
He sucked off Abramoff,
After Jack jacked him off,
Then without delay he did Tom Blow.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
The Pope Goes To Mt. Olive
I am not a person to condemn
Another for his sins of whim
But this I cannot forgive -
Pope John went to Mt. Olive
And Popeye kicked the shit out of him.
Submitted by: Pooh Bear
Prayer
There once was a man boys called Pateró
Caught, with cock, in an anal crater.
The bishop reproved him,
And then he removed him
For a prayer to be named later.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
Prayer to Be Named Later
There once was a man boys called Pater--
Caught, with cock, in an anal crater.
The bishop reproved him,
And then he removed him
For a prayer to be named later.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
The Prick
Lucy sure sucked a good dick.
But her husband was such a prick.
He blasted her face,
With first jiz and then mace
Then gave her gut a big kick.
Submitted by: Greg Combs
Prick Like a Fork
There once was a man from New York
Whose pecker did prick like a fork.
His wife, much a-vexed
And painfully sexed
Did seal off her cunt with a cork.
Submitted by: Tia
Priest from Dunkirk
There once was a priest from Dunkirk,
Who, one day when he was done work,
Went to see a sister,
And after he's kissed her,
He taught her to do the nun jerk.
Submitted by: John A. Barry
Proud Papa
A proud bride-to-be's father, Ed,
Climbed into his girl's bed and said:
"You'll be married soon,
Before the honeymoon,
Please practice by giving me head."
Submitted by: John A. Barry
Pucket
The once was shortstop named Pucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear was my pussy I'ld fuck it.

Submitted by: AjanDick

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