He was a boy,
She was a girl.
This song is so God-damn ridiculous.
He wasn't a hunk,
He never got laid.
What more do I have to say?

He fapped to her.
He'd never admit.
There's no way he'd ever suck her tits.
And all of her friends
Laughed in his face.
They wouldn't even fuck him in cyberspace.

He's a masturb8er boi, quick ejacul8er boi.
She'd never let him near her twat.
She had a pretty rack but that bitch was high on crack.
She wasn't worth the load he shot.

Five years from now
In a trailer park,
Shootin' up heroin in the dark.
She turns on TV
And guess who she sees.
Masturb8er boi jerkin' on DVD.

She calls up her friends.
They already know
And they've all gang banged him a year ago.
She skips to the part
Where he shoots his goo.
Holy Fuck, what a load he blew!

He's a masturb8er boi, huge ejacul8er boi.
She thought he must have sucked in bed.
Now he's a porno star, gets hit on in every bar,
And she would love to give him head.

You might say you knew him when - He shot before he got it in.
But that Tantric training pays - Now that stud can thrust for days.
When he finally sprays his stuff - There's no condom big enough.
But since his girl's come seven times - I don't think she minds the slime.

He's just a boi, can't stick to one girl.
Pimp daddy's so fucking promiscuous.
He gets around.
You heard it right:
A threesome on every other night.

I met masturb8er boi, I said blow ya later boi.
I'll be backstage after the show.
I'll be on his porno set, squirting and soaking wet,
Cause I ejacul8 too, you know.

I met masturb8er boi, I said blow ya later boi.
I'll be backstage after the show.
I'll be on his porno set, squirting and soaking wet,
Cause I ejacul8 too, you know.