my name is dick and i am tongue-cheek
my game is wit, and you can blow me
i did not come to beat around
til you see my website i won't leave you, pal

in the beginning, close to d.c. i started writing a parody
i would try to express all of gay ups and downs
found i'm a mean R, vote my heart's vows
i tried to love a guy, though, but it mocked esteem
i got the courage, be the man for me

my name is dick and i am hunky
my name is dick this hunk is boney
hurts me!

my name is dick and i am funny
when it comes to humps, i am so tongue-cheek
i know i'm righteous to make you flinch
i mock your prides and pride is sin
don't try to stop me, the way i bash
if you try to mock me, i'm just a scam
without a middle, without a front
and you'll see you're clueless to what makes me stunned
that, then's my "gotcha" - that, then's my pride
eccentric moves hide my jelly-spine

my name is dick and i'm a front, see?
my name is dick, no one much knows me
hurts me!

my name is dick, was a wanna-bee teen
and i'd been so mocked with a brain-inj'ry
it got me immune to feeling dolt
life's all a game, i was always vetoed
i'm here to tell you, i'm much better-made
they ignore me happ'ly still, but shame's not made
my brain's saying i'm better, ooh, so better than dudes
cuz with my awesome self-esteem, i'm never bored like you

my name is dick and i am tongue-cheek.