Well life in the west ain't really laid back
I got saddle sores and I got a broke back
Spend time with the guys, means play hacky "sack"
O Gawd! I'm a gay cowboy

My mama said this life would do me some harm
Got Carson Kressly resting on my arm
My lays are all fab, don't mean to cause alarm
But Gawd! I'm a gay cowboy

Well, don't got a fine wife, but not sleeping single
When the campfire's out all us men tend to mingle
Wife ain't nothing when urges start to tingle
So Gawd! I'm a gay cowboy

When there's no more sun that's when fun starts to grow
Pull out my fiddle and I'm playing with my bow
The men start to peak, and I let them have a go
Then Gawd! I'm a gay cowboy

I'd lay Sammy good all day if I could
But my boss and the cows would take it very good
So I fuck when I can
Work with my wood
Cause Gawd! I'm a gay cowboy

Well, I got me a BF, who sure likes to fiddle
When nights coming down, the tent shakes a little
Wood's sure strutting, so I like to whittle
Don't make me a gay cowboy

YEEHAW!!!

Well, I wouldn't trade this job for condoms or mules
I never was one of them women liking fools
I'd rather use my fiddle for just charming males
Well Duh, I'm a gay cowboy

Yeah, City Folk asking could you "Macho Man" sing
Tell these sad people, don't Village People scene
Son, Oklahoma, is so much more serene
Cause huns, I'm a gay cowboy

Don't got me a fine fife, but I sure like to fiddle
Culinary's top-notch crab cakes on the griddle
Life's not living till you "come out" a little
Well Gawd! I'm a gay cowboy

YIPPIEE!!!

Well, I fiddled round with Eddie till that Shawnee died
Then he held me by the hand into TP's inside
Said, "Use your wood right, play that fiddle with pride"
Cause O Gawd! You're a gay cowboy

That Shawnee taught me hung how to hunt, and planting pickles
Taught me how to jerk and how to tune up my fiddle
Taught me how to love nature just a little
That's why I'm a gay cowboy

Never had a fine wife, I just go and fiddle
Got a son "coming out" taught him how to piddle
Wife ain't nothing, but ball, and chain, and shackle

I RECKON

That's why I'm a gay cowboy!
Yep!!!

(Fiddle around at the end)