The first thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Writing those Christmas cards
The second thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Having to buy some presents
And writing those Christmas cards.

The third thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Those noisy crackers
Having to buy some presents
And writing those Christmas cards.

The fourth thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Having cousins over
Those noisy crackers
Having to buy some presents
And writing those Christmas cards.

The fifth thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Those darn fruitcakes
Having cousins over
Those noisy crackers
Having to buy presents,
And writing those Christmas cards.

The sixth thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
All those lousy carolers.
Those darn fruitcakes
Having cousins over
Those noisy crackers
Having to buy presents
And writing those Christmas cards.

The Seventh thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Stupid Santa stories
All those lousy carolers (Oh, you stupid kids….SHUT UP! And get the hell off my lawn!)
Those darn fruitcakes (Ick, I'm not going to eat that! IT‘S STALE!)
Having cousins over (Oh no not Cousin Mel, he‘s a menace, Cousin Mel is always causing havoc!)
Those noisy crackers (Oh god, that sound, it's so horrible! MY EARS ARE SCREAMING FOR MERCY!)
Having to buy presents (Now what was it that my bro wanted again? Was it the bike or the dvd player? DAMMIT, I forgot! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT HE WANTS?)
And writing those Christmas cards (Why do I have to write cards? I don't even know those people! WHY SHOULD I WRITE CARDS TO A BUNCH OF RANDOM PEOPLE WHO I DON‘T KNOW?)

The eighth thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Those sucky tv specials
Stupid santa stories (Milk and cookies my ass).
Those lousy carolers (GO AWAY, WE DON'T WANT YOU TO SING!)
Those darn fruitcakes (Who eats these things anyway? NOT ME THAT'S FOR SURE!)
Having cousins over (Oh no, Mel don't break the vase, it's expensive).
Those noisy crackers (We're so not going to have them this year!)
Having to buy presents (What? 59.99 for a Mega Console? WHAT KIND OF SHOP IS THIS?)
And writing those Christmas cards (Oh god, oh god, my hand has cramp, I can't write these anymore!)

The ninth thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Those long lines at malls
Sucky tv specials (Spongebob saves Christmas yet again? When are they gonna show something original?)
Stupid Santa stories (I don't even believe in the guy so shut up about him already!)
Those lousy carolers (Oi, don't make me get the dog out here!).
Those darn fruitcakes (These fruitcakes are iffy)
Having cousins over (Oh god Mel why did you have to break that vase? Mum is going to ground you for a week if she finds out!)
Those noisy crackers ( What? They went off again? AH CRAP!)
Having to buy presents (This Robo-Sapien you gave me is defective! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!)
And writing those Christmas cards (Darn it my pencil broke!)

The tenth thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Having to make dinner,
Those long lines at malls (Could this line move any slower? COME ON!),
Sucky TV specials (Oh god, not the Rugrats Christmas Special, I've seen it about 50,000 times already! What are they ever going to show a John Candy movie on there?)
Stupid Santa stories (I don't care who this Santa guy is. I HATE HIM! HE CAN GO TO HELL FOR ALL I CARE!)
Those lousy carolers (Oh god, more carolers? Barbara, where's my shotgun?)
Those darn fruitcakes (Fruitcakes again? BORRRRRRRRING! GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT'S GOOD FOR A CHANGE!)
Having cousins over (Great, Cousin Marco just broke the lamp!)
Those noisy crackers (I've got to get rid of those crackers somehow!)
Having to buy presents (WHAT? Out of stock? I have to wait till next week to get one? But my daughter desperately wants a Wooper Doll now! LOOK MISTER, MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN BEGGING ME NON STOP FOR A "TALKING NEEPERS" THE WOOPER DOLL AND I PROMISED HER THAT I'LL GET ONE AND I DON'T WANT TO WAIT TILL NEXT WEEK TO GET ONE!)
And writing those Christmas cards (Oh geeze, I'm getting tired of writing these cards!)


The eleventh thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Those lousy traffic jams
Having to make dinner (WHAT? I don't know how to make a Christmas turkey! I can't understand this stupid recipe! WHAT LANGUAGE IS THIS RECIPE IN? THE WRITING IS TOO DAMM SMALL!)
Those long lines at malls (Hurry up dammit, I want to get in that shop! CAN YOU SPEED UP THIS LINE PLEASE? THE FAT GUY IN FRONT OF ME WON'T MOVE!)
Sucky tv specials (Oh great, more tv specials, now I'll be bored to death! CAN'T WE GET ANY DECENT PROGRAMS ON THIS TV?)
Stupid Santa stories (He's just a fat guy in a costume, he's a phony, get it through that empty head of yours! Why are you always under the delusion each year that Santa exists? IF YOU LOVE THAT FATASS MORON SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HIM?)
Those lousy carolers (STOP SINGING, YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE! THAT'S IT, GET LOST, WE DON'T WANT YOU, GO AWAY, LEAVE US ALONE!)
Those darn fruitcakes (Again with the fruitcakes? Can't we get something that's actually good?)
Having cousins over (I hate you Cousin Marco, you too Cousin Mel….you two are the worst cousins ever! I AM SO NOT GOING TO HAVE YOU OVER NEXT YEAR THAT'S FOR SURE)
Those noisy crackers (Throw these damm things away they're a nuisense!)
Having to buy presents (WHAT? Battle Critters have been recalled? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE, I WON'T STAND FOR THIS! MY SON JAKE WANTED A SET OF LIMITED EDITION BATTLE CRITTER FIGURES AND I AM OUTRAGED TO HEAR THAT THEY HAVE BEEN RECALLED! )
And writing those Christmas cards (Why the hell do I have to write cards for a bunch of people I don't know? CAN'T THEY JUST WRITE THEIR OWN CARDS? YEESH, THEY'RE TOO LAZY TO WRITE THEIR OWN CARDS!)

The twelfth thing at Christmas
That just annoys me is
Those dumb charities (For the last time, I DON'T WANT TO DONATE ANYTHING TO YOUR STUPID ORGANISATION, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE OR ELSE I'LL BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA YOU!)
Those lousy traffic jams (MOVE YOUR DARN CAR YOU BUM!)
Having to make dinner (Oh great! The chicken is overcooked! How am I supposed to make dinner now? Overcooked turkey, the cookies are stale, yeesh......I HATE HAVING TO MAKE DINNER!)
Those long lines at malls (COME ON DAMMIT! I'VE BEEN HERE FOR 3 HOURS AND THIS LINE HASN'T MOVED YET! IF THIS LINE GETS ANY SLOWER I'LL LOSE MY F***KING MIND!)
Sucky TV specials (THAT'S IT! I'M TURNING THAT TV OFF RIGHT NOW! THESE TV SPECIALS SUCK, THEY USED TO BE GOOD BEFORE BUT NOOOOO.....THEY KEPT GETTING REPETIVE!)
Stupid Santa stories (Who's going to believe those stupid stories, huh? NOBODY THAT'S WHO! NOW GO AWAY I'M TRYING TO THINK!)
Those lousy carolers (Haven't I told you to get lost already? NOW SCRAM! LOUSY NO GOOD CAROLERS, DON'T YOU COME NEAR MY HOUSE AGAIN!)
Those darn fruitcakes (FRUITCAKES SUCK! THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOING TO EAT A FRUITCAKE AGAIN! NEXT TIME WE'RE GETTING SOMETHING THAT ISN'T A FRUITCAKE!)
Having cousins over (Cousin Marco, Cousin Mel….you're both going to be grounded for a whole week when mum finds out what you've done. YOU'RE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE! AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE!)
Those noisy crackers (Help me get rid of these before they cause someone to go death, come on….someone please help!)
Having to buy presents (YOU CHEAPSKATES! YOU CHANGED THE PRICE ON BEANIE BABIES AND YOU'RE GOING TO PAY BIG! NOBODY CHANGES THE PRICES ON ADORABLE TY BEANIESAND GETS AWAY WITH IT!)
And writing those Christmas cards (Ugh….THAT IS IT! I'VE HAD IT! I'M NOT GOING TO WRITE THESE CARDS ANYMORE! I QUIT! TAYLOR, IT'S YOUR TURN TO WRITE THE CARDS THIS YEAR- I'M NOT DOING THEM!)