"Oh I used to cause a baby
Used to be a fertile boy
You used to take me ... frequently
Giving me much pride and joy
But now you want no more children
And left me like a broken toy

Oh it's time that I was sterile
Time for me to have the snip
I'll get a vasectomy
Oh, no please don't give me gyp
At least if I'm castrated
I won't catch my testes in my zip

Oh sod it, bollocks, f**k
I've an infected ball
It's turned huge and blue, and it's painful too
You'll say teehee when you see me
I'll leave in a hurry
Leave me, leave me
Darling please believe me I'm in mourning
It's all been true

What you say about that hey honey?
You gonna take those antibiotics?
I'd like that
Right on that penicillin
Weigh down down round screaming round

Oh sod it, bollocks, f**k
I'm on morphine now
And when the swelling goes, I can wear some clothes
Instead of going naked with a ball like a melon
Gently safely remember I'll be screaming if you make me
My infected ball

Take me hold me
What a bum rap you sold me
For now I've an infected ball
I hope it heals, infected ball"