In a black BMW
Cool wind in his hair
Warm smell of Starbucks
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
He saw the Isla Vista lights
His head was heavy and his sight grew dim
He's gonna have a big night
They stood outside the sorority
They heard their own death bell
They were thinking to themselves
"Am I in heaven or am I in hell?"
Then he pulled out his handgun
And he blew them away
Heard the voices on that May night
This is what they say:

Welcome to the Friendzone Santa Barbara
Such a nasty place (such a nasty place)
It's a damn disgrace
Goin' insane in the Friendzone Santa Barbara
Had no solution (had no solution)
His retribution

Actor's like Patrick Bateman
Means justify the ends
Killing the obnoxious brutes
And their blonde girlfriends
Bulletholes in the deli
Blood, death, and sweat
Don't want to remember
But cannot forget.
Stabbed his three roommates
And drank some red wine
Made in Napa Valley back in 2009
And still those voices are calling from far away
Woke us up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say:

Welcome to the Friendzone Santa Barbara
Just an awful place (just an awful place)
What an utter waste!
Feelin' the pain in the Friendzone Santa Barbara
Mountains of skulls (mountains of skulls)
And rivers of blood

Gunshots in the Beemer
Glass broken like ice
I said "He was just a prisoner here
Of his own device."
All across the beaches
Sad to say the least
They can take away the guns
But they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember
I closed the Beemer door
There was just no going back
To the place he was before
"Relax," I told Elliot. "I am programmed to deceive
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave."