"My lawyer said ""there's too much come around here
The kid slept in your bed and told the law you're queer
Your marriage is a front cause you take it in the rear
And eat it, you eat it

You had your fun you better run while you can
The cops have DNA from little bungholes, man
You better be tough, cause when the prison door slams
You'll eat it

Yeah you're gonna be had
You'll eat it, (Eat it)
Open up your mouth and greet it
Tonsils so spunky
From dongs in the night
It doesn't splatter
When swallowed right
Just eat it, eat it

They're gonna get you bendin' over the can
You're gonna be a boy for some old macho man
You'll do the suck and grind, they'll call you Peter Pan
You'll eat it, you'll eat it

You'll have to blow them when the muscle men flex
You're built like Barney Fife but with some smaller pecs
They'll prick you and they'll meat you
And you'll wonder who's next
Just eat it

Cause you're gonna be had

Repeat chorus twice

Just eat it x7"