Stairway to Kylie
by Jeff Jarvie

There's a lady who's sure soiled panties are gold
And I'm buying a stairway to Kylie
When she gets BNI she knows if the pages aren't closed
With a laugh she can get what she came for
And I'm buying a stairway to Kylie
There's some graffiti on the wall but Kylie wants to be sure
Because sometimes "clusterfuck" has two meanings
On a videotape by a book there's a Stern show where she sings
Sometimes all our rowboats are vibrating

It makes Jeff Jarvie wonder

There's a feeling I get when I watch Becoming Wet
And Jonathan Morgan destroys my spirit for living
In HayseedI have seen Gloria Hole on her knees
And the watermelons of those who choose acting

It makes Jeff Jarvie wonder

And it's Face Jam at noon as she sings a Lightfoot tune
And the basketballs will lead us to Jordan
And a BNI day will dawn for Kylie and her Taxi Dancer thong
And Jeff Jarvie will collect one more autographed photo

If there's an eggplant in Kylie's muffin don't be alarmed man
It's just a shaved pilgrim pie for the Vengeance witch
Yes there are two Kylies you can go watch but in My Plaything
There's still time to change the mood she's in

And it makes Jeff Jarvie wonder

Kylie's head is hummin' and the flu won't go as sleepless nights know
Jonathan Morgan is calling you to join him
Dear Kylie can I hear your boat row and did you know
My stairway lies on your realistic butt

And in her warehouse abode
The stuffed M&Ms are taller than our souls
There lives a Kylie we all know
Who cuts drywall and wants to show
How soiled panties still turn to gold
And if you spank her very hard
She'll row her boat to you at last
When oh is me and how aberrant
To be a wall and not to dry

And I'm buying a stairway to Kylie