(Garfield the Cat is fucked-up again on a beautiful Monday morning.)

**John Arbuckle**:
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Garfield?! You think you're just gonna get drunk and act fucked up all day? I give up...."

(Garfield gets up and plugs in his electric guitar. The music kicks in!)

You show me the girl cats you've got
I'd love to fuck all of their minds up
I'll bring in lots of beer and vodka
I say I wanna watch porn movies
Featuring lesbians, that fuck my brain
Those porn movies, they make me horny
I keep on drinkin', I keep on fuckin'

I wanna drink some beer all night 'til I puke the next day
I wanna fuck Arlene all night and fuck her every day
I wanna watch porno movies and watch them every day
I wanna get so drunk all night and fuck up the entire day

You keep tellin' me to stay sober for a while
I'll fuck my girl cats in a very nasty style
Then I'll get drunk, and take ecstasy
You say I smoke marijuana a lot
"Garfield, *cough*, that's quite a lot"
And that's why I'm so fuckin' crazy
I'll drink vodka, in a fiesta

I'll smoke like Cheech and Chong all night, and party every day
I wanna watch some porn all night and watch it every day
I'll have Arlene suck my dick dry and I'll fuck her in her sleep
I wanna drink some beer all night 'til I puke the next day
I wanna get so drunk all night and fuck up the entire day
That Nermal cat won't be here tonight 'cause he's in Abu Dabhi
He's a dumb 'ol cute cat all right, he won't have sex all day
I wanna drink some beer all night 'til I puke the next day
I wanna watch some porn all night and watch it every day