Song Parodies -> I Will Survive (dirty Version)
"I Will Survive" Based on the performance by Gloria Gaynour
"I Will Survive (dirty Version)" Parody by Anonymous
At first I was afraid
I was petrified
When you said you had 10 inches
Lord, I almost died
But I'd spent so many nights
Just waiting for a man that long
That I grew strong
And I knew that I could take you on...

But there you are
Another lie!
I was ready for a Big Mac
And you've brought me a French fry
I should have known it was so small
Just a sad pathetic dream
Have known there was no Anaconda
Lurking in those jeans

Go on now go
Walk out the door
Don't you promise me 10 inches
Then turn up with only 4
Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't notice it pop out,
Don't you know we're only joking
when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive
I will survive
Cuz as long as I have batteries
my sex life's gonna thrive
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex
I will survive
I will survive, hey hey!

It took all my self control
not to laugh out loud
When I saw your little wiener
Standing small and proud
But too bad about your ego
And to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my loving
For a cordless multispeed

Go on now go
Just make a dash
Last time I saw a d*** that small
I was treating nappy rash
I should have asked for confirmation
Should have asked for pictures, please!
Then I wouldn't have you waving that
wee winkie thing at me

Go on now go
Just hit the track
Don't you bring me home no little worm
I'll always throw them back
The only thing that I could do
with a d*** as small as yours
is to stick it with a tooth pick
and then call it a hors d'oeuvre!

I will survive
I will survive
Cuz as long as I have batteries
my sex life's gonna thrive
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex
I will survive
I will survive, hey hey!

Go on now go
Get out of my sight
I'm going back to my appliance
Cuz I know its length is right
And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door
You'll be counting your 4 inches
as you pick them off the floor

Go on now GO!
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Voting Results
Pacing: 4.5
 
How Funny: 4.8
 
Overall Rating: 4.7
 

Total Votes: 57
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User Comments Follow...

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James Jennings - July 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Funny hilarious stuff !
Andrew Woodard - August 01, 2007 - Report this comment
ROFLMAO!! Even the third time through it has me in stitches! Every line is more clever than the last. I can just imagine some gay drag queen singing this in a cabaret and speaking from personal experience. My only question is why are you anonymous? Who wouldn't want to take credit for something as kick-ass as this?
Captain Bootylicious - September 20, 2008 - Report this comment
This totally rocks! You need to be writing more parodies, Anonymous.
Gavin - May 06, 2009 - Report this comment
thanx for the great comments, i will definately do more of these. i have stayed anonymous because i wasnt surewhat would be sayed. glad u ejoyed it. will defo make more ;)
gavin - May 06, 2009 - Report this comment
hi me again, as all of you want me to make another parody then does anyone have an idea??
pinner - June 24, 2009 - Report this comment
WOW! that's impressive.. One of the best I've ever read.
SandyR - October 28, 2009 - Report this comment
OMG I love it...im going to do it at my parties. www.slumberpartiesbysandyr.com this will be a great intro! Don't yall think?
Rudee - March 28, 2010 - Report this comment
One of the funniest ones I've ever read!
tank2644 - March 28, 2010 - Report this comment
LOVE this version! First heard it sung karaoke style in a bar in Illinois. Where can I get a download??? E ME - tank2644@hotmail.com
wrexi1983 - April 13, 2010 - Report this comment
PMSL ova n ova.... Had tears in my eyes, vry clever. Well done. Loved it!! Plz do more. :-)
dora16601 - June 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Sang this at a show & everybody LOVED IT!
Lynn - December 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Actually I wrote this parody...lol...like 15 years ago as a joke to a gf of mine...I can't believe people copy and pasted it to the point or even sing it like one person said....that is just crazy. Don't I get some sort of financial compensation!!!! lol oh well...I guess the fact people enjoy it is enough. :)
Lynn - December 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Gavin...you lied and took credit for something I wrote...that is sadddddddd!!!!!! I only found that this existed still because I am writing my gf another parody for her bday and I was looking for inspiration. Wow...sad sad sad!!!
Lynn - December 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Here the parody I wrote for my gf ...You can steal this one too and say you wrote it Gavin!!!!!!! At first when I was fat The cause was boredom I just wanted a tight n sexy apple bottom. But then I spent so much time running my butt on that thread mill I finally got the bangin' ass and the looks from girls that kill. Now do I care? That your guy stares at me Hell no 'cause I look hotter than those geeks who sing on Glee I remember all the laughs when I first joined that stupid gym Now I get all the fuckin' props and praise for being just like them. Go on now, go Get out the door Run down a street or two...or maybe three or four cause you joked when I was fat Now I'm finally thin and free The only reason that your pissed is 'cause yo man's been doggin' me. But no not I...I will survive No sloppy seconds left for me Not your man or those french fries I'll have smoken legs, a round tight ass, and nice breasts the perfect size Yes cause I...I will survive. hey hey It took all the strength I had not to go to KFC But all I had to think of was the jiggle of my belly. It will never be again just Mickey D and I That guy who once laughed at me now flirts, stupid fuckin' guy. But don't you worry I'm not into him He may have money, a nice car but he also needs a gym I didn't run my butt like mad To end up wit' some damn guy Who only cares 'bout stuffing his face with his mom's sweet apple pie. Go on now, go Get out the door Run down a street or two...or maybe three or four cause you joked when I was fat Now I'm finally thin and free The only reason that your pissed is 'cause yo man's been doggin' me. Oh no not I...I will survive No sloppy seconds left for me Not your man or those french fries I'll have smoken legs, a round tight ass, and nice breasts the perfect size Cause I...I will survive. hey hey
Karen - April 30, 2015 - Report this comment
I would like to record this song as part of an CD of 'naughty' songs but I need to submit all the writers' names (particularly important in Australia as it's a parody) - so I gather 'Gavin' is the writer - please Gavin email me so we can discuss this!! kisstart@hotmail.com Thanks!
Mary Jane Eden - February 15, 2016 - Report this comment
loved the darn th9ng the first time I heard it, sang it at karaoke and drank for free all night!!! BRILLIANT!!
Bbsbaby - August 22, 2017 - Report this comment
To funny on ppl claiming this it was originally written and posted on the companions website in forums by a peeved of woman
mike - December 10, 2022 - Report this comment
bullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllhornnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
MIKE - September 01, 2023 - Report this comment
ME TOM AND CRAIG WILL HAVE A FIREFIGHTER RACE 2 SEE WHO CAN PUT ON THEIR JACKETS SUSPENDERS PANTS BOOTS GLOVES THE FASTEST
MIIKE - September 22, 2023 - Report this comment
I WANNA BE A FIREMAN IN A HOOK IN LADDER TRUCK SAVING ALL THE BUILDINGS WHEN A FIRE HAS STRUCK I WANNA BE A FIREMAN DOING ALL I CAN THAT'S WHAT I WANNA BE WHEN I GROW UP 2 BE A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
MIKE - October 21, 2023 - Report this comment
PARADISE TALIUM JAMIE JONES / BE YOURSELF GIRL SINGINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
MIKE - October 28, 2023 - Report this comment
BON JOVI THIS HOUSE IS NOT FOR SALE I'LL SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD 2018 {NO GUITAR}
*********************************************@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ILLSLEEPWHENI'MDEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD - January 01, 2024 - Report this comment
2018
2018 {NO GUITAR} - January 28, 2024 - Report this comment
SWIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMERS
WEIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YANKOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC - February 10, 2024 - Report this comment
AL I'M REALLY CONFUSED WHAT'S YOUR REAL NAME MY REAL ACTUAL NAME IS AL THNX 4 THE QUESTION YEAH BUT WHAT'S YOUR REAL NAME IT'S ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL AL YANKOVIC WEIRD AL COME ON BE SERIOUS YOUR REAL NAME YOUR REAL NAME { DEEP VOICE} MY NAME IS ZANTHROXXXX OH I KNEW THAT;S HOO U WERE OK TIME 4 1 MORE QUESTION
WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I THINK THIS IS GONNA SHOCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU I KNOW YOU'RE SITTING DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MY REAL ACUTAL NAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IS ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO COME ON WHAT'S YOUR REAL NAME IT'S AL IT'S AL YANKOVIC THAT'S MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT'S AL MY REAL NAME IS ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL - February 10, 2024 - Report this comment
ME AND CRAIG WILL HAVE A FIREFIGHTER DRESS UP RACE
AL'S REAL NAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE - February 16, 2024 - Report this comment
MY REAL ACTUAL NAME IS ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I KNOW THIS IS GOING 2 SHOCK YOU MY REAL ACUTAL NAME IS AL! COME ON BE SERIOUS YOU'RE REAL NAME YOU'RE REAL NAME
swimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm teaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - February 16, 2024 - Report this comment
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