At first I was afraid
I was petrified
When you said you had 10 inches
Lord, I almost died
But I'd spent so many nights
Just waiting for a man that long
That I grew strong
And I knew that I could take you on...

But there you are
Another lie!
I was ready for a Big Mac
And you've brought me a French fry
I should have known it was so small
Just a sad pathetic dream
Have known there was no Anaconda
Lurking in those jeans

Go on now go
Walk out the door
Don't you promise me 10 inches
Then turn up with only 4
Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't notice it pop out,
Don't you know we're only joking
when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive
I will survive
Cuz as long as I have batteries
my sex life's gonna thrive
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex
I will survive
I will survive, hey hey!

It took all my self control
not to laugh out loud
When I saw your little wiener
Standing small and proud
But too bad about your ego
And to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my loving
For a cordless multispeed

Go on now go
Just make a dash
Last time I saw a d*** that small
I was treating nappy rash
I should have asked for confirmation
Should have asked for pictures, please!
Then I wouldn't have you waving that
wee winkie thing at me

Go on now go
Just hit the track
Don't you bring me home no little worm
I'll always throw them back
The only thing that I could do
with a d*** as small as yours
is to stick it with a tooth pick
and then call it a hors d'oeuvre!

I will survive
I will survive
Cuz as long as I have batteries
my sex life's gonna thrive
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex
I will survive
I will survive, hey hey!

Go on now go
Get out of my sight
I'm going back to my appliance
Cuz I know its length is right
And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door
You'll be counting your 4 inches
as you pick them off the floor

Go on now GO!