I can't get no, Janet Jackson,
I can't get no, Mormon action, ( Superbowl action! )
'Cause I'm snide,
Got no pride,
My brain's fried,
And I'm shy!
I can't disco!
No, no, no!
Hey, hey hey!
I'm not that gay!
When I'm hustling with a schlep,
And I'm sliding here,
And I'm kicking there,
And I'm trying to stay in step.
But I've got two left feet,
And I just can't sing,
That Village People thing! Hooo! Hooo!
I can't disco! ( Etc, etc... )
When I'm in my vest & bells,
And I'm drinking this,
And I'm smoking that,
'Til my breath simply smells,
But I can't pick up chicks,
Because of the way,
That polyester sticks!
I can't disco! ( Etc, etc... )
When I'm at the roller rink,
And I clap my hands,
And I bend my knees,
But my karaoke stinks!
'Cause I can't carry a tune,
Or walk like I,
Just landed on the moon!
I can't disco! ( Etc, etc... )
I'm a schizo! ( Repeat 3 times )
My brain's in traction.... ( Repeat & fade )