"Ate Thursday night at Taco Bell, Different taste every bite of the corn shell
I ate more than I shouldÆve of, I see that now
Kept fillin' up on ________ and nachos, Wish I brought a bottle oÆ pepto
I was up all night, couldnÆt keep my dinner down

Sat on the shitter Friday pushinÆ the pain away
Praying through the cryinÆ until noon
There on the shitter I stayed, couldnÆt get off all day
My ass cheeks are blue and IÆm high on methane fumes

You called me last night on the telephone, CouldnÆt answer æcause I was home alone
I heard it ringing but afraid to stand up straight
I been sittinÆ right here for a long time, My legs are numb from my curved spine
I ain't left the bathroom in 3 damn days

Still on the shitter today. This pain ainÆt goinÆ away
I finished my readerÆs digest this afternoon
Here on the shitter I stay, havenÆt been off all day
At least IÆve memorized all the ingredients in my shampoo

I heard ya today ring the doorbell, ""Where have you been?!ö I heard you yell
I screamed for help but then I heard you drive away
LivinÆ on sink water and toothpaste, I think my æroids have been laid waste
IÆd wipe, but I ran OUTTA PAPER YESTERDAY!

Still on the shitter today, 10 pounds less I weigh
You should stay back, or my disease you might catch
So on the shitter IÆll stay, IÆll be here another day
But IÆll stop singing for now, æcause I feel another batch

Oh, please put me out my misery,àà.light a matchà.
"