Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone.

I'm doin' Jack now- I've finally moved on.

He's not so bad-in the sack.



I'm not surprised just how well I've survived,

Immune to the pill and the baby arrived.

I can't complain, she's got your name.



And it only hurts when I'm peeing,

The boils only break when I'm squeezing,

My pap smear results were not pleasing,

It only hurts when I pee.



No need to worry- the cream works all right

But herpes and hemorides might put up a fight.

I've named by crabs- as a matter of fact!



-Repeat Chorus-



It only hurts when I pee



Mmm I've named my crabs as a matter of fact



-Repeat Chorus-



Hurts when I'm peeing

Breaks when I'm squeezing

Pap smear's not pleasing

It only hurts when I pee.