"I'm ready to fart, don't make sparks
Under my ass, or I'll blow you apart.
I feel like shit, I gotta admit,
That silly bitch ripped my tits! (BOTH TITS!)


Just when I thought things couldn't get worse,
I shot the shit, get the nurse.
You better get me outta here,
I've made a mess, their not impressed! (IMPRESSED!!)


RIDGE:
Did everybody go out and play,
They can't wait till the end of the day.
I need someone to clean me.
STAY! HELP! HEY!


CHORUS:
Honey, I'm in a coma
I'm bent the wrong way!
Straighten me up,
Or you'll be blown away!
Get the hell in here, and change these sheets,
I'm bent so far, my head touches my knees.
Someone come here, and clean my ass,
I'm so upset cuz I got the bad gas.
I hate this place, so I""m gonna blow it up!
HELP! HELP! IN A COMA!

I broke my fall, shopping in the mall,
The man under me started to baul.
I""m in pain, it's so mundane.
Get the electrodes and stimulate my brain.

BRIDGE:

2nd Chorus:

Honey, I'm outta the coma,
I've woken right up.
Feelin' much better,
I can drink from a cup.
Honey I'm back, so set me free,
Open them doors, I'm ready to leave.
I'm so much better you must believe,
Even though I still have a bowel desease.
But, that doesn't stop me from goin' to the Florida Keys!

Oh damn bout' broke my neck!!!!!!!!

2nd CHORUS REPEAT:

I'm gone!!!!
"