"I've been known to stay at home and masturbate all night
Watching dirty movies til the early morning light
Magazines and videos of nasty sluts and dirty ho's
But right now what I need most in my life is

More beaver, black or brown or white
It don't matter, if it's loose or if it's tight
I'm gettin' kinda horny and my hand is tired too
Would you like to sit upon my face tonight
More beaver

It's nice to finally meet a girl who likes it up the ass
Vaseline and K-Y just might get me laid at last
Watch my crotch and see it grown
Darlin', I'd sure like to know
What it's like to get inside your pants for

More beaver, good enough to eat
Believe me, I don't wanna see it bleed
My palms are awful hairy and I'm out of Wesson oil
and I'm half the man I didn't have to be

More beaver, you finally came around
You're just kidding? What a way to let me down
My sex life is so lame and I think I'll go insane
Do you think I'm ever gonna get me some?

Me neither
"