I'm searching every state to find,
Some dude that's sexually inclined.
And on my mons pubis to dine,
It's what I've come to do.

But my friends think I have crossed the line,
I've found one from the other side.
He's not human, and I don't seem to mind.
He's from the canine crew.

Go fetch it! I've thrown it at the smelly midget.
He's relatively calm; he hasn't even begun to fidget.
That's it! Go and rip off all his upper digits.
Save up your energy; we're lovers.
That's the fun bit.

The doggy-lover is my king.
I love it when he does his thing.
His wagging tail gets me to TWING!
He lies straight down so we can screw.

He's got rabies! And he's horny.
Humps my leg then rolls onto the other side.
Now it's my turn, I'm pretty scrawny.
Though I manage to find the pleasure that's inside.

He's got rabies! And he's horny.
Licks my ear, and then sits down on his backside.
I kiss him softly, it's pretty corny.
I think that he is up for another fun-filled ride.

Now that I look, his fur is glued,
To his skin, it seems so crude,
He stands up, only to be blued.
By my palm, angry in mood.

I take away the new-brought bone,
The loving face turns to stone.
And now - well I'm alone.
Listening to my Akon ringtone.

Bitty bitty, doggy, wanted to suck my titty, titty.
It could taste oh so sweet, or it might be a little gritty,
Between your teeth, you might get very shitty.
Or you might say that I am extremely pretty.

Two fingers, now I have to moan,
No longer in use, and here's a groan.
Two airline tickets to Vegas, now I've outgrown,
Your extremely strong jawbone.

German Sheppard, it's too tawny.
My kinda dog is more or less one of pride.
Golden Retriever, it's too downy.
That's more or less the emptiness I feel inside.

Saint Bernard, it's too dozy,
The dog I like has to be small enough to fit beside.
Cocker Spaniel, she's quite cozy,
Just jumped inside my car for a little ride.

Her name is ChiChi, she's not horsey.
She's my special little doggie that I've just blow-dried.
Back from the chemist, I'm so sorry.
I should have never thought
That blue was a colour you'd like to be dyed.

'Tis the end, of my story.
I finished now, and my life has begun to subside.
Homo sapiens, not for me.
I now go for those that don't have opposable thumbs.