"Where oh where can my weiner be
The store clerk took it away from me
It's in the market so I have no more wood
Sex is really no longer that good

I was out in the market with my shopping cart
We didn't have to travel very far
There in the checkout straight ahead
The clerk said he'd pay me to give me some head
I needed the money so I said alright
I'll never forget what happened that night

The screaming
The painful feeling would always last

Where oh where can my weiner be
The store clerk took it away from me
It's in the market so I have no more wood
Sex is really no longer that good

Well I woke up in a surgeons gown
There were people standing all around
Something warm flowing through my pants
But somehow I felt I had one more romance
I lifted my head and the little one said
Jerk me darling for a little while
I held it close, we jizzed our last jizz
I found the relief that I knew I had missed
Well now it's gone even though I squeezed it tight
I lost my buddy, my pride that night

Where oh where can my weiner be
The store clerk took it away from me
It's in the market so I have no more wood
Sex is really no longer that good
"