If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some metal underwear
Because there's homos in San Francisco
And they'd like to do a lot more than your hair

If you should spot a four-leaf clover
That ancient symbol of fortune and good luck
Whatever you do, do not bend over
There's a homo behind you, and your ass he'd love to fuck

He'll shoot his load inside your heinie
And make your rectum turn red and start to itch
Because his penis is not so tiny
And he means business when he makes you his bitch

They've got a fascination
With mutual masturbation
Oral ejaculation
That's what they like

He'll stab you with his erection
Give you a deadly infection
'Cos he won't use protection
Unless you're a dyke
Unless you're a dyke

So if you come to San Francisco
And get rear-ended, just pretend not to care
And if you're going to San Francisco
Stay in Chinatown -- you'll be much safer there

If you're going to San Francisco
Stay in Chinatown -- you'll be much safer there