Don't wanna be a fondling idiot
don't be so nice to me anyway Can i write some shit on A4 paper
and don't shout pieces of eight thank you

Welcome to self-adoration
if it's only my urination
In the toilets, I see are gay
hope I hate my swimming teacher I ain't fading from her

And would you like my piss on eBay
it's only £50 but I don't like it
Oh, can I hear the Salvation Army
they're closing with 'Cherub Rock'

Welcome to my adoration
Ain't got a name for it, but i'll know it's true
it was a long time ago
But I stay away from me

Welcome to the toilet, you idiot I used to jam up here with Bill Ward
Can i see your CD right now
is it 'Zen Arcade' by Husker Du

Well, this has been my adoration this ain't the 90s anymore
or that piece of piss, the 80s

Don't I see i'm using a CD
rippin' it up and tearin' it up and yes, it ain't OK Computer