"Oh Penis, Oh Penis
Penis, if you will
Find a girl for me, a girl that I can drill
I'm tired of sepnding all my time out in the barn
A girl with no arms will do

Penis, I don't care
Alive or dead, 300 pounds with no hair
Who cares about her size
As long as she spreads her thighs for you

Penis, my sort of love that you are
Is it too great a task
To find me a piece of ass

Penis, please come though
Find a girl that I can grope and hump and screw
Make her far-sighted so that she can't see your size
That would be your demise

Penis, my sort of love that you are
Is it too great a task
To find me a piece of ass

Penis, if you do
Won't you help me 'cus my balls are turning blue
My palms are hairy and my vision isn't great
I sure need a date

Oh Penis,
Oh Penis,
Make my wish come true
"