Did you see that man workin' out the college dorm
Hope you believe it's fade to see am I still givin' a fuck of who I see
And it might be greatest

You know the old man he sings 'Monkey Wrench'
and I don't know that song

You know the old guitar, i'm bad and kings of shit
and that's the spread of South London

I am a gay man trapped in HMV they'll buy shit to this day
I was takin' a shit like Justin Bieber
and fuck, do I shit my pants

Are you still behind the karaoke bar
this ain't where we are

Are you still writin' a song for Kesha
I am sick of 'Tik Tok' now

Get the fuck out

(GUITAR SOLO):
Der-der-der-der-da-der-diddly-diddly-der-der
Der-der-der-dang-dang-der-dang-der-dang-der-diddly-dang-der-dang

Hey, this ain't the 90s anymore Loads and loads of sex during Britpop
I used to watch porn in my own dayjob
Lookin' alright for Ron Jeremy

Are you still writing that same new fucking shit
I am of what they call Natasha Kaplinsky
(HELLO)
Didn't you see the reason why i'm doing Dire Straits
oh, fuck all