Song Parodies -> Secret In your own lap
"Secret" Based on the performance by Madonna
"Secret In your own lap" Parody by AnonymousTAnonymousFemale
Parody in which an ex comes to realize that he is a closet bi and would rather masturbate then take his ex back and while hes masturbating he thinks of thanking his mtf transsexual friend for giving him advice about he is better off just masturbating alone instead of trying to date other crazy women [mtf shares a secret with him about how boring her sex life was like before she had neutered herself and cut off her dick, but thinks that straight or bi men are better off masturbating instead of marrying crazy women.]) I was tempted to add in lines from the man's favorite song Silence and make it a feature, but that would have risked destroying the anonymousness of this parody.
Things haven't been that sane
Since she came around my dick
she found a way to touch my dick
And I'm never ever never ever never ever going to take her back

[Bridge:]

Happiness lies in your own lap
It didn't take my genius brain long to realize
How my crazy wife would have been
Until my *transwoman friend shared her secret with me

[Chorus:]

Mmm umph umph yeah mmm [skip for 2x]
Something's cumin' in my hand, mmm umph umph mmm
Something's comin'on my hand, mmm umph umph mmm
Something's cumin' all over me
My friend's got a secret

This slut tried to give me back the paradise
That I never really cared about for ever
but then my transwoman friend helped me realize
It was shocking that he or she understood
she knew the whole damn time
What I was afraid to confess
Until I learned to love being a closet bi
I was scared i would never ever fuck again

[bridge]
[chorus, repeat]
[bridge]
[chorus, repeat]

mmm umph umph mmm, my tranwoman's got a secret
mmm umph umph mmm, my friend's got a secret
mmm umph umph mmm, my tranwoman's got a secret for me

mmm umph umph mmm, mmm umph umph mmm, mmm umph umph mmm (screams his exfiancee's name, which is a secret)
(*mtf = male to female transsexual friend of the man in the song parody) Disclaimer: I do not make money off of this parody. If you do not like how this parody was written or have found any mistakes then you may copy/paste this into Word and ask for its removal and then correct it and repost it. I am not a very good writer lately and encourage other parody makers to edit and repost this (as long as they credit me/the original parody writer).
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