Song Parodies -> Shapeless
"Shameless" Based on the performance by Garth Brooks
"Shapeless" Parody by Andrew Woodard
Queen size is a keen size, no bones about it. This is Billy Joel and Garth Brooks' answer to Baby Got Back.
Well I'm shapeless when it comes to being nude,
No I really can't attract a dude,
Cause I've got no curves at all.

And I'm rail-thin. Baby, you can't pinch an inch,
Thought that getting laid would be a cinch,
But the boys don't come to call.

You know I'm not a girl who has ever been
Insecure about the body I've been living in.
My wits are charming; my look is fresh,
But when my dates try to grope my flesh,

I'm shapeless. Baby I don't have a prayer
Anytime I see you standing there
Gawking at my bony knees.

And I'm changing: I cut out all my exercise,
Had a few McDonalds cherry pies.
Put some pounds upon me, please!

You see in all my life I've never found
Food I couldn't resist, food I couldn't turn down.
I thought my hard body was a pretty view,
But I wanna get plump for you.

I have never had any man thrust his throbbing pole into me.
Cause I worked too hard to be all skin and bone.
Yes I starved myself to death and jogged obsessively.
But it's the thick girls that men can't refuse.
Pass me the pizza, bring the booze,
I'm shapeless!...shapeless.

You know it should be easy for a girl who eats
To grow a little belly or some decent size teats.
I've never lost any weight I ever missed,
But I've never stuffed myself like this...

Now where are my hips?

I'm shapeless, shapeless as a girl can be
People think I had mastectomy.
I'm a skinny little ho.

I am shapeless
Shapeless
Shapeless...
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Captain Bootylicious - September 05, 2008 - Report this comment
I like how I can really get an image of this girl from reading your verses. Kind of sad, really, this poor girl with no hips, stuffing her face, lol! Great parody!

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