**Bus Driver (David Lee Roth)**
"While I'm driving, please turn your Bibles to Matthew 3:13. Where the fuck is Waldo?"

**People in the Church**
"Oh, wow, man, I said
Wait a second, man
What do you think the preacher's gonna look like this week?"
"Show me your boobies!"

Wooh!
Oh yeah!

P-P-preacher show your Double D's
"Matthew 3:16"?
What the fuck's that supposed to mean?
Maybe I should go to Hell
But I never want to sin
Preacher needs to see me after Church!

I think of all the Good Religion that I've missed
But then my worship was never quite like this!

Ow! God ain't bad,
God ain't bad,
God ain't bad,
I'm hot for preacher! (Woo!!)
She got big boobs, huge ass
I'm hot for preacher!

Hey, I heard God blessed us
We're back! (Hey!)
I brought my Bible
Give me something from Adam, babe!
Whoa!

Uh!

Ooo-oo-ooo

I heard about conservatists
but conservitists are so cold
I didn't know about this Church
Preacher looks like Pam Anderson
How can you be so bold?
How can your husband look like Lurch?

I think of all the sex and mischeif that I've missed
But then religion was never quite like this!

I got 'er laid,
I got 'er laid,
I got 'er laid,
I'm hot for preacher! (Woo!!)
She's such a babe, big boobs
I'm hot for preacher!

Whoa!

(Guitar Solo)

Oh man, I think the clock is slow
(What are you doin' this weekend?) I don't feel sinful
Church dismissed!
Ooh-yeah!

Yeah, God ain't bad
God ain't bad,
God ain't bad,
I'm hot for preacher!

Whoa!
Oh! Ooh, yes I'm hot
Wow!

Worship God!
Woo!

------------------------
Michael Anthony went on to become the manager of a Pasadena Chick-Fill-A. He is currently married and has six boys and two girls.

Alex Van Halen converted to Catholicism in 1999. and became a priest in 2001. He is now known as Father Van Halen.

Eddie Van Halen, following his brother's influence, also converted to Catholicism and became Pope Eddie Van Halen I on May 13, 2025.

Nobody knows what happened to Waldo.

And David Lee Roth went on to become PAX TV's Favorite Game Show Host!