Song Parodies -> Nine Inch Guys
"9 to 5" Based on the performance by Dolly Parton
"Nine Inch Guys" Parody by Andrew Woodard
With tits like those, Dolly could have easily pursued a career in porn. This biopic describes a life thus lived.
Pussy turning red and my butthole is itchin'
Another day of catchin' what porn stars are pitchin'
Strip down for the cameras and the lights
For hours and hours we don't stop humpin'
Director's hopin' that folks'll pay somethin'
For skanks like me on the knobs of nine inch guys.

Fuckin' nine-inch guys, what a way to make a livin'
Though they really try, I'm all fakin' when they're jizzin'
They just lube your hind; feels much better when they wet it
If you stuff it dry, that's crazy; you'll regret it
Nine-inch guys, got meat but not the motion
You would think that I could just jerk them off with lotion
I could give them head, but their horse-cock doesn't fit me
I wish sometimes those men would do it gently!

You make them cream just to watch it splatter
You might catch strep from the piss-man's bladder
And you get streamed in HD live all day
You take a big load up in your back end
Hopin' and prayin' your shit will stay in
Til the cam's gonna cut and it's time to collect your pay

Fuckin' nine-inch guys, what a way to make a livin'
Asses boobs and thighs, it's objectifyin' women
It just blows your mind, all the stallions that you've bedded
So much sixty-nine, your labia are shredded!
Nine-inch guys, yeah they fuck you where they want to
Better close your eyes; know that it's a facial, don't you?
It's a porn king's game no matter what they call it
And you spread your legs puttin' money in his wallet

Nine-inch guys, whoa, what a way to make a livin'
Though they really try, I'm all fakin' when they're jizzin'
They just lube your hind; feels much better when they wet it
If you stuff it dry, that's crazy; you'll regret it

Nine-inch guys, yeah they fuck you where they want to
Better close your eyes; know that it's a facial, don't you?
It's a porn king's game no matter what they call it
And you spread your legs puttin' money in his wallet
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