there's a tub...where hot water lay
does it serve...a purpose if you're gay ?
lonely fellas pass the time away
they splash among their own
and there's a guy...in this rockies town
and he likes...puttin' sissies down
they say, "randy...wanna fool around ?"
he thinks its risky to try

the homos say..."randy, you're a fine pal
what a gay life we could lead
yeah, your thighs could drive a man to lunacy"

randy...isn't gay he claims
and he's never suffered from a lack of dames
but someone...that i won't name
is the man that randy loves
he came...on a summer's day
and he stripped...so he could catch some rays
but he made it clear he wasn't gay
no hot tub did he own

the homos say..."randy, you're a fine pal
what a gay life we could lead
yeah, your thighs could drive a man to lunacy"

yeah, randy liked to hear those guys
when they told their homo stories
he could feel himself begin to rise
in a certain territory
so he had to face the truth
lord, he was a girlie man
and randy tried his best to understand

at night, when the bars close down
randy walks through the heart the town
and asks the men to fool around
he often hears them say...

he hears them say..."randy, you're a fine pal
what a gay life we could lead
yeah, your thighs could drive a man to lunacy"