Song Parodies -> I've Cum Everywhere
"I've Been Everywhere" Based on the performance by Johnny Cash
"I've Cum Everywhere" Parody by Captain Bootylicious
I was drinkin' some Jack, my parched throat feelin' that sharp whiskey flow
When up came some drunk college kids, lookin' me up and down real slow "Hey old man, you're lookin' pathetic, way ancient, past your prime." So I sat up in my park bench and looked them all straight in the eye. They snickered, said, "Who'd screw him? Bet his sex life's pretty bland." And I said, "Listen, brats, I've blown my load all across this land." (Chorus) I've cum everywhere, man I've cum everywhere, man Screwed and whacked my share, man A thousand chicks, I swear, man Let me tell you when and where, man I've cum everywhere. I've cum on ski tows, tidal flows, movie shows, 3-foot snow, Frying pans, old sedans, beer cans, French chateau, Bathroom stalls, shopping malls, on the street when I'm alone-a, Boneyards, a St. Bernard, done a chick who's in a coma, Seedy whores, revolving door, church service - back pew, Times Square, barber's chair, defiled a rancid gym shoe. (Chorus) I've cum everywhere, man I've cum everywhere, man Screwed and whacked my share, man A thousand chicks, I swear, man Let me tell you when and where, man I've cum everywhere. I've cum in bathtubs, Navy subs, boxwood shrubs, on trapeze, Starbucks, Mack trucks, bronco bucks, on Christmas trees, Sleeping bags, ugly hags, a couple fags, on trampoline, Horse and sleigh, Safeway, Eiffel Tower made me cream, Rooftop, butcher shop, female cop, at the zoo, Jail cell, cheap motel, one time drunk in turkey stew. (Chorus) I've cum everywhere, man I've cum everywhere, man Screwed and whacked my share, man A thousand chicks, I swear, man Let me tell you when and where, man I've cum everywhere. I've cum in porno stores, secret drawers, closet floors, chest freezers, Classrooms, creepy tombs, pimp costume, tight old geezers, Corn fields, panty shields, Ferris wheels, a buffed ex-con, Jumbo jets, hockey nets, Barbie's 'vette, the White House lawn, Sewer holes, at Super Bowl, at air control - see what I'm sayin', Warehouse, whorehouse, beneath the stage while Cats was playin'. (Chorus) I've cum everywhere, man I've cum everywhere, man Screwed and whacked my share, man A thousand chicks, I swear, man Let me tell you when and where, man I've cum everywhere. I've cum in pool sheds, bunk beds, fresh-baked bread, rickshaws, Mortuary, virgin cherry, all over my girlfriends' bras, Bingo night, 'copter flight, traffic light, construction zone, Ship decks, my dog Rex, while I'm crappin' on the throne, Circus tent, air duct vent, wet cement, kangaroo, Out a window - stunned a crow, even done a dyke or two. . . (Chorus) I've cum everywhere, man I've cum everywhere, man Screwed and whacked my share, man A thousand chicks, I swear, man Let me tell you when and where, man I've cum everywhere. I've cum everywhere. Your Vote Counts
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User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason. oh my .... tears
Awesome!
I"ll always check my shoes when I put them on at the gym... and steer clear of turkey stew!
oh and.... poor crow!! You continue to slay me. Keep up the fantastic work!
Thanks, guys!
This was awesome, CB. 555
LOL!
YEAH
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
woo
FIRE GEAR
SWIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM TEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM JACKETSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS - March 01, 2024 - Report this comment
YO DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL
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