He was a player in 1932
Now in the old folk's home, he's still quite the dude
He'll go for any gal who can eat solid food
He's a male geriatric tramp

He scopes those hallways for geezers with flair
They fall for his pick up lines - "Hey, Baby - new wheelchair?"
Shamelessly gropes the dames who are hooked up to air
He's a male geriatric tramp

Armed with his cool Viagara, he's quick to seduce
With fancy prune juice
Martini glass, makes a pass
In Calvin Coolidge-era charm, he's the reigning champ
He's a male geriatric tramp

He propositions over pea soup and checker boards
His goal is bagging every mobile broad in this ward
Sweet gifts like scented Depends make it pretty easy to score
He's a male geriatric tramp

Glen Miller on the record player, he takes his sweet time
These chicks are old and brittle, but they make him cum just fine
That Metamucil makes their rectums sublime
He's a male geriatric tramp

There's nothing like minty dentures, leg ointment, and soft blue-grey dyed hair
Palliative care
Doesn't mind - if they're blind
Catchin' all that tail he feels like a Boy Scout at camp
He's a male geri-
He's a male geri-
He's a male geriatric tramp!