Froze ma balls, Froze ma balls, Froze ma balls off
I got no pair - no, there ain't nothin' there
Caught in a blizzard, up Buffalo way
No more pocket pool can I play..

Fam'ly jewels, fam'ly jewels, fam'ly jewels gone
My cajones I lost, to that bastard Jack Frost
Driving from Fargo in my Chevy Belair
Lost them in Pierre...

Union suits, guys
Would be quite wise
Keep your balls snug night and day
Cause if they freeze, and then you sneeze...
You'll be singin' in a high-pitched way

Packin' up, heading south, Tampa-Saint Pete
Where folks turn their heads when they cough
I've had enough of the snow and the sleet,
'cause I froze ma balls off..

(chorus)
[Froze his balls, Froze his balls, Froze his balls off
In Kalamazoo, both his testes turned blue,
His little friends are now ice cubes somewhere,
And he'll have no heir..]

Union suits, guys
Would be quite wise
Keep your balls snug night and day
Cause if they freeze, and then you sneeze...
You'll be singin' in a high-pitched way

Packin' up, heading south, Tampa-Saint Pete
Where folks turn their heads when they cough
I've had enough of the snow and the sleet,
'cause I froze ma balls..
'cause I froze ma balls..
'cause I froze ma balls off!