That cop he just nailed me for speeding
He did not want to hear my pleading
The bastard still gave me the ticket
Want to tell him that he is a dickhead
I guess I helped to fill his quota
That does not please me one iota
I muttered something 'bout his mother
He said, "what was that you just said, brother?
Get out and put your hands above you"
Don't like this; think I'm 'bout to be screwed
He said "Lie flat upon the pavement"
Said "Move just one muscle and you'll be dead"
Looks like a good time to be humble
Better not give lip back to this dumbo
When asked a question give him answers
Go along and make sure to say, "Yes sir"

(Chorus)

Was in my car
Then I got stopped
By some obnoxious
asshole cop
Was a blunder to say something rude
I'm on the ground
and looking up
I see him reach
for his handcuffs
Dammit, hell, I'm in deep doo-doo

I hear some ringing, it's my cell phone
"Please leave a message 'cause I'm not home"
Oh, no, it's Jack, who is an asshole
Says, "Think you can pick me up some grass, bro?"
The cop stares at me in elation
"Think that I'll take you to the station"
This jerk is wearing on my patience
This whole damned encounter doesn't make sense
He said "Now get up on your feet, scum"
Treating me like I am a complete bum
This type of treatment's not endearing
Don't think I can make bail now I'm fearing
They took my 'prints and processed me through
Guard said, "Guys in lock-up gonna like you"
Rough looking fellow in the top bunk
Says, "Tonight you're gonna be all mine, punk"

(Chorus)

"This is not cool"
was my reply
"I do not want
to be your bride"
He laughed and then said, "that's too bad, dude"
I'm stuck in here
with vicious cons
He probably doesn't
use condoms
Situation's making me blue

(Tempo Change)

"After dinner when the lights are out we will screw, 'til I'm through
We'll be rocking 'cause I'll be socking it to you", he enthused
It's not pleasing for me to contemplate just what he'll do
Knees are knocking, can't think of anything to do; I am screwed

(Instrumental break)

(Return to original tempo)

I'm stuck in jail because of that pig
Convict is making me wear a wig
He said "it's like initiation
now I'm gonna make some penetration"
He said "just lie there and be real still
You're gonna let me do what I will
Don't fight me while I'm in your rear end
or you'll end up having to wear 'Depends'."
Cock out, and now he's gonna ram you
He's gonna ream you 'til he shoots goo
I writhe beneath his vicious pounding
God, the pain is so bad, it's astounding
Dick hard and planted in my caboose
This type of sex will make me real loose
Now I'm a victim of rear-ending
Rough con sex; my anus is distending
I hope some day it will be mending
Perhaps you find my tale heart-rending
I am getting sodomized so violently
Hear guards laugh as they ignore my frantic pleas
Con sprayed with me cum when he withdrew
Then made me thank him when he was through