Hot leather…
Gay with satin on.
Raul, turn the heat up a little bit.
Ayo, this thong can fit anyone.
Faggots… drop soap in prison.

Gay-o, I sit back as a fag dressed in drag, make you gag
On your mead. So take heed, I'm not seated for wees.
Got a penis you see. And this…oh this urge to wear furs
And a skirt with my purple man- purse.
I watch Bert's hot adverts in my Bar-bara-knit shirt.
And use gel on my curls, can't you tell? I believe
In the lessons of fashion we lecture in
Fitting that ass in a sequinned dress decently
Stuffing your chest with fake breast implants easily.
And we squeeze in fat feasibly. Can you?
We weave your wardrobes out of fleece. See, this coat made of tweed?
You concede that our streetwear is gorgeous.
So hot and tres chic to me.

I don't know you but, oh, that kimono's designer! Those earrings
Are just as endearing as fox-fur on pure mink.
Your butt is heavenly, I give it a flick.
Is my wig put on straight or quite queerly?
Foundation is smearing and tiffs about wearing white lipstick are blaring.
Tease your hair as you wear your mascara, it's normally sky blue.
So call me a poofter, stylising your suit.
I'll smile and then snort as Queer Eye does your wardrobe.
Oh my, that's so ugly!
I'm a queen who demeans you. My dream frippery is a scream.

Cuz I am a lover of Dame Streisand.
In the closet: designer's top labels crammed.
Getting facials with dudes wearing knee-high pants.
Ladies? Oh, don't even try it, man.
Cuz I am a lover of marjoram.
And I'm buzzing when guys cook a Cajun lamb
Add the cayenne, the cloves and then shake the pan.
Kylie knows it's just the gay I am.

Sometimes I just feel like a lover.
A date with your brother…
Then all of your closeted cousins.
But no, "These satyrs are an offense, it's wrong when you smother
Your buttocks with cosmetic products."
And all of these conservative jerks agree,
That gay freaks are all idiots and He cannot freely swap rings with a He.
What's the point, call drags faggots yet love seeing chicks in their threes.
And a ring for two mums?
"Sorry huns, but move on.
We just don't give a stuff if you two are in love.
They're just all stunts you pull for publicity news."
Yet you're lewd getting bullied and duped by our rules.
Priest is gay? You're hysterical.
What a clerical error- a terror, that.
Call an air attack.
Little old heteros cower from faggots, see, powerless enemies.
And such audacity, can't we keep stabbing them?
Man, that fag's feminine and that chap is gay.
Shit on GLAAD cuz the freedom for you to conceive babies via
A sperm, we've adjourned til a guy has you girls.

And I am a lover of Dre and Stan.
Don't discuss it, cuz guys shouldn't say that plan.
There is rape and abuse among straight husbands.
But homos don't even get a chance.
And I care for children at Daycare Land.
Never cussing, nor violent, I play with them.
But defaming rumours cause false tales to span.
Eyes are all accusing gay guy hands.

I'm so sick and tired of queen bashing riots
And guys on Queer Eye with their stereotyping.
We've dropped all the racists but plopped out new fascists
Erupting when cable eats up Will and Grace shows.
I'm pigeonholed as just excessively dating then exfoliating and dressing like ladies,
But I just do not get this hating.
Can't deal with bad luck with the ladies so you pick on a faggot
Who just tries to walk past but you stalk him, attack him and jab til he falls.
High school hallways for factions of lame, cocky assholes.
So cruel and so hurtful to dudes doing nothing.
This mind-set grows up to the men you are now.
You're still crapping on, yeah, about lesbian cows.
All you guys and your ladies.
I can't take it, your scathes always chase us each place and event.
Get a faceful from every man in the tent.
And I can't even get in a bathroom without someone branding intent.
You know I don't like your portly ass so don't call out, you hassle us fags.

Cuz I can be clever as straight guys can.
If my lover's a guy, shouldn't change your stance.
Quit your hating, get used to the gay guy clan.
Pity you don't have the balls to, man.
Cuz I can't get used to the Straight Eye span.
Have you got it? No bi or asexual pants.
Love my make-up, my shoes and my lack of pram.
I don't know, it's just the gay I am.