Used to get my wild kicks from swingin'
Or lettin' sluts suck me for a thrill
Used to think that passed for satisfaction
Now I know neither ever will.
Ended up drunk in a stranger's arms
I'll never forget how he made me moan
Tossed away screwin' chicks now forever
And man, I want a long hard bone.

[chorus]
Love a long hard bone
No, I aint licked a clit since I don't know when
Long hard bone
Shove it way up my ass again

Feelin' bad for my wife and my children
Didn't know 'bout the butts I drill
Truth came out when it's Steve they saw me packin'
Well, we might end up on Dr. Phil.
Female form don't make me very horny
I want a six-pack hard as stone
All that chest hair gets my juices runnin'
And Lord, gimme that long hard bone.

Love a long hard bone
No, I aint squeezed a pair since I dont know when
Long hard bone
Can you shove it up my ass again?

I could no longer conceal,
Man, I had to get real
My wife got a few clues
'Cause my cock won't salute
Lookin' for a pillow bite
Scopin' ass every night
Screwin' in my car
Outside the local gay bar!

Now, I have orgies in my new apartment
Guys coming over just to bend and blow
Havin' to be chargin' a fee for admission
'Cause my wife took me for all my dough.
I'm thankin' my stars that I'm finished with pussy
A hunk in a tank top is my dream date
Whiskers to nuzzle, a tight ass to spank
I think, I think, I think

The best is a long hard bone
No, I aint sprayed a snatch since I dont know when
Long hard bone
And I aint going back

I'd rather long hard bone
No, I ain't seen straight porn since I dont know when
Long hard bone
And I aint goin' back again

I said a long hard, long hard, long hard bone
Well I like a long hard....

Long hard, long hard, long hard bone
Oh, I need a long hard bone.

Long hard, long hard, long hard bone
Yeah yeah