"Crotch is looking du-bi-ous-ly pumped.
There's a lump inside your trunks."

I'm a hot pre-op, you dumb chump!
That's no botchka in my front
I'm six-foot-one
I have enormous arms
Aint got no twat or cunt
So what's inside my thong?
Work it out!

I'm like most other ladies
But somethin' 'bout me's shady
Beneath is a surprise, see
You won't find it enticin'
Wanna know what's un-der?
Long as a banana
Hairy as a bear
It's very scary, you'll be terrified

What hint am I maskin'
Beneath my thick-moustached grin?
Male genes weren't my preference
So I dressed up to look different
And I keep on fakin'
Are you still mistaken?
You think I look great when
I'm on stage here gyratin' my lump

My lump my lump my lump
You dumb guys swarm in throngs
A woman? Nup, you're wrong!
To your misfortune...

"He's gender-bending!"

Friendly in a bunny costume?
A transvestite, buddy!

"He's just pretending!"

Men are looking hungry for me
They paw me, horny

"Whatcha gonna do when we succumb?
We'll be charmed because we're dumb!"

I'ma get wit' ya, hetero chump
Have you coming in my rump!

"Whatcha gonna do if I advance?
My hot passion is revealed!"

From beneath the sheets, you will flee
When you've seen the real me!

Cuz of my lump
My lump my lump my lump
It's right there in my johns
How can you still be stumped?
Work it out!

"I met a girl from San Francisco
I don't hate on chicks cuz of big bones
Such a special lady, really smart and funny
And a splendid body
Hair was like silk but she spoke real gruff
Really REALLY spoke low
Getting fixed so you'll have a muff?
Still a fellow?
Riiiiight..."

What can be so perplexing
When I am onstage flexing?
You dullards pant and pester me
Mentally undressing me
Can't you see my lump? Nup?
When I move it jumps up!
You damn shmucks have got a crush on me?
My crotch is giant!

...hairy armpits!
Don't you see these plump hips?
I'm no mum, twit!
These balloons are not tits!
So don't think of romance, son
Cuz I'm a man, son
With girls' underpants on
To hold my lump

It's plump
My lump my lump my lump
My lump my lump my lump
My rather manly bump
Yeah, I pack piston pump
You'd better watch out...

"He's gender-bending!"

Friendly in a bunny costume?
A transvestite, buddy!

"He's just pretending!"

Men are looking hungry for me
They paw me, horny

"Man, this woman has a muscly chest...
And two testes in her skirt."

I'ma pay surgeons to do work...
I'd prefer to be a bird!