Blame allergic effects, I can't wear latex,
At least that's what I tell the girls.
I'm an NBA star, playing games near and far,
Having sex all over the world.
Now I never meant to get them all bent,
I just wanted to play my sport.
Just wait 'til I sign for that 15.9,
And then they might see child support.

Cause I've got kids in lots of places
Where the mamas gripe, and the lawyer chases my paycheck down;
And that makes me frown.
Well I'm not big on contraceptives,
Need to get myself a whole new perspective,
Oh I got kids in lots of places.

Well that test must be wrong. That kid don't belong to me,
But I've been here befo'.
I'll call up my buds, we'll start slinging some mud,
And we'll paint that woman a ho.
And I'm gonna prize that look in her eyes
When she sees me getting away
With knocking her up and saying goodbye,
And hopping on my private plane!

Cause I've got kids in lots of places
Where the mamas gripe, and the lawyer chases my paycheck down;
And that makes me frown.
Well I'm not big on contraceptives,
Need to get myself a whole new perspective,
Oh I got kids in lots of places.

[And now to parody the "3rd verse" as well.]

Well that test must be wrong. That kid don't belong to me,
But I've been here befo'.
I'll call up my buds, we'll start slinging some mud,
And we'll paint that woman a ho.
But to my surprise, there's fire in her eyes,
That skank really wants to get paid,
When I crossed the border, they showed the court order,
And repo'ed my pimped Escalade!