My dog shits glitter, it's sparkly and red
He has no use for dogfood, he eats make-up instead
He ate some lipstick from Christian Dior
And left a glittery poo trail all over the floor

My dog shits glitter all over the hall
Lancome and Bobbi Brown, he's eaten it all
Stila and Maybelline, Max Factor and Lush
If I've put it on my face, it'll come out of his tush

My dog shits glitter, he does it all day
We tell him he's a bad boy, but he does it anyway
The mad Polish vet just doesn't know what to do
He's never ever seen such fabulous poo

My dog shits glitter for better or worse
I found a half-eaten lipstick in my make-up purse
Not for him Bonio or Pedigree Chum
He'd rather have sparkles all over his bum

My dog shits glitter and I think it's a shame
Cosmetics disappear, I never see them again
His make-up-eating habits drive me to despair
I always have to replace it and it just isn't fair

My dog shits glitter, he does it all day
We tell him he's a bad boy, but he eats it anyway
The mad Polish vet just doesn't know what to do
He's never ever seen such fabulous poo