Where's the Viagra when you needed it most?
You finished a porno, and your boner was lost
She knows your erection went away
She's wondering if you might be gay
Or is she simply just too fat?

You're praying to God that it somehow will grow
You're thinking the blood isn't able to flow
You're willing to try a good cock ring
It couldn't be more embarassing
And now she blames it on herself

'Cause you had a bad lay, your pecker went down
You beat on your schlong just to turn it around
It simply won't grow, you do not know why
You wait for a while, then she tries to re-ride

You had a bad lay, your woody has died
It's falling back down as you poke her behind
You had a bad lay
You had a bad lay

Well you need a good head shrink to say
The problems you have can go away
And soon you will be bangin' on

You had a bad lay, your pecker went down
You beat on your schlong just to turn it around
It simply won't grow, you do not know why
You wait for a while, then she tries to re-ride

You had a bad lay, your woody has died
It's falling back down as you poke her behind
You had a bad lay
Mmm, on a hot, hot date

Sometimes you've had way too much to drink
And then it messes with your prick
You might not sober up to see that
You only had a whiskey dick
And you're not sick

So where's the Viagra when you need it the most?
Oh you and I
You finished a porno, and your boner was lost

'Cause you had a bad day, your pecker went down
You beat on your schlong just to turn it around
It simply won't grow, you do not know why
You wait for a while, then she tries to re-ride

You had a bad lay, your woody has died
And it happens to men all the time
You had a bad lay
You had a bad lay

Had a bad lay
Had a bad lay
Had a bad lay